Goodbye, BEDA!

Location: Couch
Listening to: Sax music?
Days til Graduation: 38

Ok, there are 2 minutes until I have to leave for work until 10, then I'm going to Dan's for movies. So I need to get this done now, because I can't miss the last day of BEDA! That would be blasphemy!

Good news:
-White Chocolate and I made it into the variety show!! So I get more excuses to hang out with him to practice.
-It stormed today. And it was glorious.
-My friends actually invited me to something. You don't know how incredible/rare that is. I'll explain more about it later.
-The video I posted yesterday is finally working, so feel free to watch it if you like. Just don't make fun of me. :p

Bad news:
-That's all I have time for! But I'm sure I'll be back tomorrow. :)

Cop out.

Location: Desk.
Listening to: THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (my guilty pleasure)
Days til Graduation: 39

Ok, so I don't really have much to talk about today. It was boring. So, I made you guys a little video of me singing/playing Falling Slowly by myself (because I couldn't kidnap White Chocolate to do it with me). The catch is, I just uploaded the video, so it's still processing. But keep checking back! Sorry if the video kind of sucks. My digital camera is not a good video camera substitute (the sound gets out of sync just about when I start singing), and my piano is way out of tune which makes me a little out of tune at points. Plus I'm singing the harmonies during the chorus. So...yeah. :)





Um, oh yeah. It cuts off halfway through the second verse. Oops. To make up for that, here is a picture of a goat crossing a high wire with a monkey on its back. Yeah, I know. I didn't believe it either!

White Boy Shuffle

Location: Desk (how boring)
Listening to: Commercials (also boring)
Day's til Graduation: One less than yesterday (aka I can't remember)
Followers: NINE!!!!!!

I'm more or less hyperventilating right now, I'm so excited. :DDD Welcome to AllysonKate and Nicole! I looovvveee getting new followers. And I am pretty dang honored that you guys decided to follow me. Thanks!

In other, sadder news: Today I went to the funeral of that police officer I mentioned the other day. He was a liasion officer for my school district, and a close neighbor of my friend Melissa. Her parents are out of town, so some of us went with her to the funeral. It was so sad. The church was completely packed with people. A lot of people had to stand around the outside in the aisles, and some even got turned away because there was no place to put them. The priest was kind of insensitive. He kept trying to make jokes about things and gave a big spiel about he was this huge influence on the police officer's life and how he knew all of his personal problems and how maybe it was better that he was gone because now he won't have all these issues.

I guess I haven't been to many funerals (the last one I can remember was when I was 5 and still didn't understand the concept of the word "funeral". Afterwards, I asked my mom when we got to go to the party...) but it just seemed kind of callous to me. Other than that, it was a beautiful ceremony. A few people gave eulogies, including his 15-year-old daughter. She was so strong. She had everyone laughing through their tears by telling stories about her dad throwing her cell phone out a car window on accident, and all kinds of other things. She was the only speaker who didn't crack during their speech. I can't imagine the courage and strength it would take to do that.

I need to do something to cheer up now. So, in the spirit of my Speech class (in which we are giving demonstration speeches), I will tell you: How to Identify a Douchebag (which is not my topic, but I wish it was).

How to Identify a Douchebag

Disclaimer: Because I have dated a vast array of D-bags, I feel kind of like an expert on identifying them. Please note that not all guys who display these attributes are D-bags or assholes, and likewise, not all D-bags/assholes have these attributes. The Douche is a mysterious breed capable of assimilating into all kinds of situations and social groups. These are just some guidelines for basic identification in their natural environment, so you can avoid dating them or simply being in their presence.

 1.) The D-bag is a stylish creature. They tend to dress in trendy clothes including (but not limited to): polo shirts, distressed denim, and aviator glasses. A stereotypical douche may also wear a visor turned upside-down and to the side. However, do not be fooled! Douche's possess the ability to camouflage themselves, making it nearly impossible to distinguish them from normal guys simply by appearance.

2.) In more cases than not, Douchebags will play some kind of instrument or another. Usually the electric guitar. He will probably believe that he is more skilled in this instrument than he is in reality, but occasionally he may be an exceptional musician. The musical D-bag will probably be part of a band with a name like "FireStorm" or "East Coast Party". He will probably play music that he considers extremely profound, with lyrics about the girls he has dated or things he believes will make him seem "sensitive". Probably, this music will make your ears feel minorly assaulted, as it will be nonrhythmic and posses a small amount of unnatural screaming/shrill high notes. It will be the kind of music his fellow Douches will sway back and fourth and bob their heads to. This is known as "The White Boy Shuffle".

3.) Douchebags will take great pride in their vehicle. It does not matter if they have a super nice Mustang or a crusty old van. This thing will be their baby. If you insult it (even indirectly, even on accident) they will throw a hissy fit the likes of which most 5-year-olds wish they could achieve.

4.) These types of boys are pretty much toddlers with bigger shoes. They like getting their way, and they will let you know how upset they are when they don't. They pout and whine and pitch fits left and right. Most of the time, they don't have actual arguments for why they deserve to get their way. They simply know that they should, and think you should know it, too. They also very seldom work for what they want. Instead, D-Bags would love for it to just fall in their laps.

5.) This particular breed of boy has a very fragile ego. It's my belief that they evolve (or, maybe, devolve?) into Douches in order to protect their self esteem. Sadly for them, it just gives people more reasons to be annoyed/repulsed by them. If you insult anything he likes or believes, the D-Bag will take it very personally, perhaps even going so far as to break up with you or disown you as a friend for not sharing the same beliefs. They are very single minded this way.

6.) The Douchebag's natural habitat includes sports bars, high school cafeterias, and college quads. They like public places where they can pray on pretty, unsuspecting girls. They generally surround themselves with undesirable characters in an attempt to make themselves look better.

7.) Douches generally have "a thing". This may be a cause, a hobby, or an extremely strong opinion that they focus their personality around. This "thing" defines their existence. It gives them something they can always talk about and use to try and impress the ladies. Usually, it's something that could be construed as creative/sensitive, but in their case comes off as forced or cheesy. They may not even be genuinely interested in it. To them, it's something that will appeal to females in an attempt to help them get in their pants.

I'm sure there's more things I could think of if I put my mind to it, but that's all I've got for now. That was probably the most fun I've had all day (it probably helps that I was watching America's Next Top Model as I wrote). So, Internet, I hope you have a wonderful, douche-free night. I know I will. :)

Snark-fest

Location: Desk
Listening to: Commercials
Days til Graduation: 42

For some odd reason, I'm watching Dancing With the Stars. I really hate this show, but I only have about 8 channels, and beggars can't be choosers as my mother always likes to remind me. I've watched a few episodes this season (some of the dances turn out really neat, so it can be fun to watch), but mostly I've learned one thing:

Kate Gosselin is a bitchface.

I'm sure in person she's a very lovely person, but the attitude she projects on television is just so...haughty. Like she's too good to do any work, and she expects everything to just be handed to her. I understand that she's going through a nasty divorce and that she has a lot of crap going on in her life, but she doesn't have to be so mean to everyone because of it. I guess I shouldn't be judging, because it's probably a lot of pressure to be thrown onto a show where you have to learn all of this crazy athletic dance stuff you've never had any experience with before.

But still. She knew what she was getting herself into.

Alright, I changed the channel now. American Idol is on. What's the deal with reality TV? I'm not sure I understand the appeal. But I have a little bit of a soft spot for this one. Actually, this is the first season I've ever seen of it. But I fell in love with Big Mike when I saw his audition, and now I have to see it through to the end, because if he doesn't win, I'll be very sad. Plus, I like Simon's snarky sense of honesty. It kind of makes me laugh a little bit. And Ryan Seacrest's corn-ball-y-ness. Because, let's face it, he's the cheesiest man alive.

In other news, today was the visitation for a local police officer who took his own life this past week. He was a school liaison officer for my district, so I knew him. He was also Melissa's next door neighbor. He was a really nice, caring guy, from what I knew. It's really sad that he felt he was in such a dark place that his only solution was to take his own life. My friends and I went to the visitation, which was extremely sad. But we all wanted to be there for his family and friends. Just about the entire community showed up. There were at least a hundred cars at the church and a line out the door. He was a well-loved man.

Sorry this post is kind of depressing/not-happy. I'm actually in a pretty good mood today. White Chocolate and I practiced our song for what may be the last time. We audition tomorrow, but we're both pretty confident that we'll make it into the variety show. I'm still really excited to be doing this, even though we've been practicing it forever. It's just such so fun. :)

But today was a pretty normal day. Not nearly as sad as I made it seem (although I did give myself a pretty nasty burn while I was curling my hair, but it's on my left hand and I'm right-handed, so it doesn't matter that much).

I hope you all had a good day, too!

A Detailed Account of Saturday Night

Location: Desk
Listening to: Stupid TV shows
Days til Graduation: 43

"You're blushing!"

That's what Alison's sister, Candace, said to me as White Chocolate sat down on my opposite side on the bleachers as we prepared to watch all of our Junior friends strut their stuff for the Grand March before Prom actually started on Saturday.

And she was right, I totally was blushing. The fact that she pointed it out and he was within earshot made me blush harder and bury my face in the sheet of paper that constituted a program, pretending to search for names of kids I actually knew (even though there were none). And I'm pretty fair-skinned, so when I blush, I blush. Embarrassing, bright-red-all-over, doesn't-go-away-for-a-hundred-years type blushing. If anyone ever mortifies me in front of an angry bull, I'm a goner.

So, I changed the subject and turned on flirt-mode. He and I chatted with each other and play-fought and joked around and had a fun time. I made him a paper crane out of the program (after my blush had subsided enough that I could stop using it as a face-shield). We made commentary on what dresses were pretty and which ones didn't quite work. He gave his opinions on formal wear (unnecessarily uncomfortable/not enough functional pockets).

The rest of the night kind of went like that. We flirted with each other (and everyone else). Alison and Candace gushed to me in whispered conversations about how he and I are too adorable together (and other kinds of girlish exclamations) while the three of us were busy making a few dozen strawberry cupcakes. He and I talked/speculated through Red Mist (which was about these med students who accidentally put one of their fellow students into a coma and a girl who feels bad so she tries an experimental treatment on him that allows him to travel out of his body and possess/kill people) and quoted along with StepBrothers and sang along with Repo.

Sadly, two other girls were there who ah-dore White Chocolate as much as I do (but in a more blatantly obvious way), and they claimed space on the air mattress he brought with. I was originally on the floor next to them, but then my friend Dan decided to come cuddle with me (which I found awkward because he once confessed his undying love for me and told me he was really pissed off because I wouldn't give him a chance), but I was still watching the movie. And he ended up pretty much stealing my blankets and pillow. And everyone else was cuddled up together (including Alison and Alex, who make pretty much the cutest couple ever, even if they aren't officially a couple).

So I ended up in the middle of the floor, more or less alone. Siiiiggghhhhh.

In other news, some little neighbor kids is marching up and down the street playing what I think is supposed to be "Hot Cross Buns" but could very well just be them making something up on the recorder. Ooooh, they switched to "Mary Had a Little Lamb". This kid should keep it up. They could probably go pro.

Well, I think that's all I've got for now. I'm still pretty exhausted from the weekend. It was a busy one for me. How about you? How was your weekend, Internet? :)

ZZZzzzZZzzZz

Location: The couch
Listening to: Fake vampire noises in some stupid movie
Days til Graduation: About 45?
Followers: SEVEN!

Welcome to Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness! I would get more elaborate with the greeting, but frankly, I don't have the energy.

Last night was Melissa's post-prom party. Our school has a Junior Prom and a Senior Ball, so all of us seniors went to Mel's house while they were dancing to make food and hang out. Alison and I made about six dozen strawberry cupcakes. And Dan made a ton of pancakes of every variety (banana, chocolate chip, chocolate-chip-banana). White Chocolate and Alex just kind of hung around, keeping us entertained.

After we got done baking, we went in the hot tub. And then more people showed up. One kid brought this totally insane professional sound system and lights, so the basement was pretty much transformed into a club. It was kind of like the high school parties you see in movies (but without the booze/sex/drugs). When the prom kids got back, they all kind of hated us for making mini-basement-prom, because they just really wanted to sit down.

We ended up watching Red Mist (which was the craziest movie ever), Step Brothers, and Repo: The Genetic Opera.

I ended up getting an hour of sleep.

It was kind of cute because everyone was coupled up and cuddling with someone. Except, I was cuddling on the floor by myself. And White Chocolate was cuddling on an air mattress with two other girls. Which was kind of not fun for me, but I survived. Dan and I were kind of cuddley for a while, but then he turned into a blanket/pillow hog, so I moved.

There was probably a lot more entertaining stories and I could've gone into a lot more detail, but my brain is fried. I'm exhausted and I still need to do homework. And...yeah.

Agh. Bye.

Yelp!

Location: Desk
Listening to: King of the Hill
Days til Graduation: 45

Tonight, I went to Alison's with her and Alex, Chee, and Erik. Where we watched Blair Witch Project. And I just about peed my pants. I can't sleep and it's past midnight and tomorrow night is prom (not that I'm going, but I'll be at Melissa's after-party) so I know I won't blog later. So I'm getting it out of the way now.

 Lessons I've Learned from The Blair Witch Project

1.) Do not go into the woods at night. All of the scary things happen at night. If the sun is out, your totally ok. But once it starts going down, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

2.) Make sure you know how to read a map before you go on a hike. Not knowing how to read a map can get you lost and killed by a crazy witch.

3.) Also, make sure your friends know how to read maps. If they don't, they might get frustrated when you get everyone lost and throw the map into the river in a fit of rage. And then you're screwed.

4.) Bring a cell phone or a GPS or signal flares or some kind of thing you can use to help if you get lost. That way, you can contact someone, figure out where you actually are/where you're supposed to be going, or at least get someone's attention.

5.) Trying to make a documentary will make all of your friends hate you.

6.) All of the wilderness survival skills in the world won't help you if a crazed witch ghost thing is after you.

7.) Schadenfreude still applies in life-or-death situations.

8.) Tell your friends if one of the others is presumably dead. That way, when you hear his disembodied voice yelling for you at night, you won't be tempted to follow it and end up dead yourself. Hopefully, you will run the other way!

9.) Basements are scary places.

10.) Watching The Blair Witch Project scares me and makes it impossible for me to fall asleep normally.

A Cautionary Tale

Location: Desk
Listening to: Some monotone guy on a commercial and my dad squeaking my dog's toy downstairs.
Days til graduation: About 46 or so?

Well, today was eventful. After school, White Chocolate and I practiced our song. And we actually did it perfectly for the first time! We were super, super, super excited. I know people say music is glorious all the time and it's totally cliche, but it was. We made GLORIOUS music. I felt all warm and floaty and special. It was pretty much the most exciting thing ever.

Then, I went to the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist to get my fish-bone-in-the-throat situation checked out. It wasn't the first time I'd been there. I got my tonsils removed in 2006. But I went in and they had me fill out some paperwork and they weighed me and lead me back to the exam room.

Where the nurse informed me that they would be sticking a tube up my nose and down my throat to see what's going on.

Now, I am a firm believer that tubes (or any other foreign object, for that matter) do not belong up your nose. Or up your...anywhere. So I got a little skittish. But the nurse assured me that they do this all the time and that she had even had it done and it wasn't that bad. She then proceeded to spray numbing stuff and decongestant up my nose. I was told to "sniff gently" while she was spraying it up there to make sure it got all the way along my nasal passage and the back of my throat.

I think I sniffed too well, though. Because I could taste the spray stuff on the back of my throat and it was nasty. Like the most disgusting kind of medicine you've ever had to take times fifty.

So then I sat there for a good ten minutes or so while waiting for the actual doctor to come in. And my nose is getting all decongested all over the place, but I was instructed not to blow it. So, that was fun.

Then, after what seemed like ages of sniffling, the doctor came in. And his first words were, "Well, I took a look at your x-ray and I didn't see anything that really concerned me."

To which I wanted to respond: THEN WHY ARE YOU GOING TO STICK THAT TUBE UP MY NOSE?!

He asked me a few questions about if I have acid reflux and what kind of symptoms I'd been having. Then another nurse came in brandishing the nose-tube. And I swear to God, my nostrils clamped shut at the sight of it. But the doctor told me to relax and started inserting the tube into my nostril and I thought, "Hey, this isn't so bad."

And then they got to the point where the tube was trying to be in my throat and not my nose. And that's when it got uncomfortable. I clenched the arm of the chair and my eyes started watering and I'm pretty sure I made some whimpering noises. The nurse kept rubbing my back, like that was going to help the fact that they were sticking things up my nose.

So, finally, I got used to the having-this-tube-thing-in-my-nose/throat sensation, and the doctor told me to make some "aaah" and "eee" noises and then he started to pull the thing out. Which was ok, until it got to the point where my throat turned back into my nose. And it got caught. I seriously thought he was going to rip this thing out of my face and then just leave me sit there and bleed to death (which would not have been cool, because I faint when I see blood). But I kind of yelped and he realized that I was in pain and he stopped yanking and started gently wiggling it around until it came the rest of the way out.

And it turns out THERE WASN'T EVEN A FISH BONE DOWN THERE! Or ANYTHING, for that matter!!

So, kids, the moral of this story is: If you are told you have a foreign object lodged in your throat and that they will have to stick a tube up your nose and down your throat to check it out, but don't worry, it won't even hurt, THEY ARE LYING. And chances are, there's not even anything lodged down there.

This would only happen to me

Location: Desk
Listening to: Commercials
Days til graduation: Same as before.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I just had to update you guys quick. This is ridiculous.

So I went to the walk-in clinic today because I've been having this weird pressure in my upper-throat area and it's hard to swallow sometimes. So I go in and the doctor is like, "Well, you had your thyroid checked recently (for other reasons), but I want to get some x-rays done to see if maybe your epiglottis is inflamed."

So I went to get my neck x-rays done. And at first they didn't work because my pony tail (which I thought was just cloth and plastic) showed up on the print and threw everything off. So they had to re-do them.

And then I went back to the room and sat.

And sat.

And sat.

And then the doctor came back in and was like, "Have you had fish recently? Like, a fish fry or something?" To which I replied that I had (about a week ago). Apparently on my x-rays, it showed up that a small piece of something is stuck in my throat. Presumably a fish bone. How weird is that?!

So now I have to go see the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist to figure out how/when they're going to get it out.

This is the type of thing that only happens to me. But I can't complain that my life is boring!

Educational!

Location: Foods class

Listening to: Goodbye Earl by The Dixie Chicks

Days til Graduation: 46

Yes, I'm blogging at school. We just had to write reports on fruit. Yes. Fruit. I learned some very interesting things about the papaya. Like, it's a good meat tenderizer. And stuff like that.

I’m practicing with White Chocolate after school, then going to the walk-in clinic. I keep getting headaches and my throat feels weird and I can’t really swollow that well. So I’m going to get checked out to make sure it’s not strep or anthrax or anything.

Pretty much this is the most exciting thing I’ve done today. Blogging at school. Hah.

This laptop sucks.

I’m gonna be done. Sorry for such a short/lame post. But class is almost over. I just wanted to write from a class. 

Things you wouldn't expect to hear

Location: The desk (old habits die hard)
Listening to: FlyGirls
Days til Graduation: 47 or so.

My head kind of hurts, and I don't feel like talking about my day (mostly because nothing happened), so I'm going to make a list. And yes, I may have stolen the idea from Facebook. Sue me.

Fifteen Things About Me

1.) Wolverine is my favorite superhero/comic book hero guy. I really don't know why. Probably because of the Hugh Jackman portrayal. That and wolverines are the most badass animal ever. They have razor sharp talon things and will not hesitate to slice your face off if you look at them the wrong way. What about that does not scream "awesomeness"?

2.) I would rather have to give a speech in front of hundreds of people than take a math test. I was misguidedly placed on the advanced math track in 6th grade, and in the past six years have achieve approximately one A and many, many C's in my math classes. Numbers don't agree with my brain, so I avoid them.

3.) I fold paper cranes when I'm bored and have paper with me. This happens a lot during plays when they stick random sheets of paper in the program. Or if the program is just a piece of paper folded in half. Consequentially, I have many paper cranes laying around, but few ways to reference who played what in what and when.

4.) Apples and peanut butter are the best food combination ever. Added bonus: It's totally healthy for you. The apple gives you nutrients, fiber, and antioxidants. The peanut butter gives you protein and healthy fats/oils, plus protein helps you stay full-feeling for longer, so you don't go searching for another snack right away.

5.) I play Bejeweled like nobody's business. My high score on the Bejeweled Facebook app is somewhere in the 500,000 point range. Beat that.

6.) Boys constantly baffle me. But I think that's an expected part of being a teenage girl. And I think that's probably also something you've figured out for yourselves (because you're all highly intelligent, I bet). But really, they make no sense. Just....none. At all. But I still like them a lot. Hahaha.

7.) Iceland used to be #1 on my list of places I wanted to travel to, but this volcano situation kind of is ruining that for me. I would love to visit there, but if Mount Eaylafasgahaha (or whatever it's called) keeps exploding, I'm pretty sure that won't happen. Because I'd rather not cross that one off my list than be consumed by magma and ash. But maybe that's just me.

8.) Facebook is my biggest vice. I spend pretty much all of my time between 3 and 10 p.m. on there. I have no clue how I manage to waste seven hours of my life a night sitting in front of the computer, waiting for toher people to update their statuses. But I do. And I hate it.

9.) I love mittens. And hats. And scarves and just about anything you wear during the winter. They make me feel cozy and they're adorable and I just...really like them.

10.) I read a lot. And I read everything. Fluffy chick-lit, serious stuff, classics, adventure, everything. Well, not so much stereotypical Sci-Fi stuff (I'm not big on aliens or things like that). But just about everything else.

11.) According to my dad, my car looks like it's been through a demolition derby. I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. Sure, I got hit-and-run in the parking lot once and one side of my back bumper is dented in a little. And, ok, I get too close to the curb sometimes, so the undercarriage-area is a little scratched up.And then there's my little rear-end experience from the other week which left some little scratches on the back.  And it may or may not be currently missing a hub cap. But besides all that, it doesn't look THAT bad.

12.) I like driving fast. On a road trip some of my friends and I took over our spring break, it took me an hour and a half to make a 2 hour trip. I went 95mph most of the way on 65mph highways. :)

13.) I have a weak spot for acoustic music. I just love the sound of acoustic guitars and pianos and singing. And the lyrics seem to mean so much more when there's not all that extra stuff going on trying to impress people. Acoustic is pure and simple and honest. And I love it.

14.) My wallet has a weak spot for pretty dresses, Starbucks Vanilla Bean frappacinos, and books. Which might explain why I have under $200 to my name at the moment, even though I've been working constantly since December.

15.) I love being independent. It makes me feel mature and important when I'm doing things on my own, especially when I accomplish something or finish something that took a long time. I hate having to ask for help, because I'm afraid the things I don't understand are things everyone else understands and I don't want to look stupid. Then again, I worry too much about things like that. (I worry too much in general, but that's another story.)

Alright, kids. That's it for now. My head feels like it's gonna explode and my ear kind of hurts (agghhh, I hope I'm not getting sick again!) so I'm gonna go shower and probably go to sleep (or watch lame reality TV on my non-cable television channels). What did you do today?

My 5th Grade Self

Location: The desk (again, but by choice this time)
Listening to: Fez on "That 70's Show"
Day's til Graduation: 48

Alright, I swore not to describe my day today, because I want to try something different. Not even the part where I practiced my duet with White Chocolate again and it was amazing. Or how I had to wait half an hour to practice because he was practicing with this other group or how he told me that he really just wanted to be done with the other song he's doing because practicing with me is more fun.

I will tell you about one thing from today: I got my 5th Grade Time Capsule. In 5th grade, we filled out this worksheet and put it in an envelope with whatever else we wanted to send to ourselves when we graduated. And it had questions like "Favorite Songs" and "Favorite books" and that type of thing. I'll give you the highlights:

Favorite Songs/Musical Artists: Avril Lavigne, Mandy Moore, Bowling for Soup, Simple Plan, All American Rejects, Good Charlotte, Elvis, and Harry Connick Jr. (I had an eclectic taste, even back then. This was 11-year-old me. I still like most of them, except Mandy Moore. I'm pretty sure I only ever heard her sing in The Princess Diaries and A Walk to Remember. Yeaaahhh.)

Favorite Books/Magazines: The Upstairs Room, Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl, The Hermit Thrush Sings, and Nancy Drew. (It amuses me that most of these books are about oppression/the Holocaust. I was an odd child.)

Favorite Clothes: Jeans, T-shirt, cool socks. (Cool socks. Definitely a winner.)

Classes You Did Well In: All of them. (It's true. I was a pretty smart kid. Modest, too.)

And this is the freaky one...

What are your future plans?: To become a writer, travel the world, and still have time to sit back and read a good book. (Some things never change.)

 There was also this:

Apparently I was going to send myself one of my favorite pens, but I forgot or lost it or something. So I drew a picture of my dog next to a tree with a wobbly looking sun shining over everything. And a smiley face leering in the corner. Cool, right?

And Hannah, to answer your question, I explain it fully here, but the short version is: My friend Jess and I love this movie (Fanboys), and one of the nerdy/cute guys calls himself "White Chocolate". And my White Chocolate is nothing like the one in the movie, but he's equally awesome. So Jess decided that that is his code name. Classy, huh?

Well, folks, I think that's it for today. Thanks for the awesome comments and such. If there's anything you think I should write about, lemme know. I'm open to ideas. :)

Game Master

Location: The couch! Because guess who got her laptop fixed?!
Listening to: That blonde chick on Gossip Girl.
Days til Graduation: 49
Followers: SIX!!!

Sweet baby Jesus, I have another follower. Another female follower! I like this a lot. Seriously. Personally, I'm not quite sure why you guys decided I'm entertaining enough to follow (because when I reread my posts I end up rolling my eyes and wishing I was wittier...hah) but I love you for it. Hi, Ally!

Today was a good day. Because:

-I practiced my duet with White Chocolate. And it was gorgeous. And we were flirty. And it was fantastic.
-I watched Midnight Madness which was pretty hilarious. Except every time the guy who played Wesley spoke, all I could think of was the annoying bespectacled kid from Polar Express. (Probably because it's the same guy.) But it had a young Michael J. Fox and now I get the "Game Master" reference in Second Helpings, so I'm a happy camper.
-I have zero homework (which is a miracle considering AP testing is in two weeks).
-The weather was beautiful. It was one of those days where the sky was beautiful blue and it was a balmy 65 degrees and the breeze was warm and all I wanted to do was go lay out in the grass with a book and a picnic basket, because that's what you should do when the weather is perfect.
-I GOT MY LAPTOP BACK! I finally got it to my uncle yesterday and he de-virused it for me. Which makes me really happy because now I'm not chained to the desk anymore. I have freedom! I can blog from my bed or the bathroom (which would be gross, but possible) or Starbucks or ANYWHERE with an internet connection. YAY!!

White Chocolate and I are practicing again tomorrow. Which makes me happier than happy. Listening to him play guitar and sing literally makes me forget what I'm doing. I know our song perfectly, but I get so distracted when he's practicing with me that I completely forget how to work my hands/vocal chords. Hopefully I'll have a video of us to put up here once we perfect it, just so you can see what I mean.

Pretty much, if my life were a romantic comedy, we would be approaching the point where the guy and the girl overcome a conflict and realize their true feelings for each other. I can picture how it would happen, too. I would tell him some deep, brooding secret about past guys I dated and how I don't know if I can trust anyone relationship-wise, but I'm glad I have him to talk to. He'd be understanding and adorable and kind of confused about why I was telling him this (even though secretly he'd be glad that I trusted him of all guys, and secretly that's exactly why I would have been telling him). Then we'd be practicing our song together. We'd play through it, the whole time thinking of each other (the lyrics are kind of sappy, so he's usually who I'm [stupidly] thinking of when I play it). And then we'd play the last chord. And our eyes would meet. And then there'd be that intense, leaning-towards-each-other-with-out-noticing-it, sparks-flying-wildly-everywhere, everything-else-going-on-fades-to-the-background.

And then he'd probably go, "Abbie. What are you doing? Why do you suddenly look like you're about to rape me? Um....I think I'm gonna go now."

Honestly, though, he is the coolest, funniest, sweetest guy I have ever met. And I've met a lot of guys. And I know him better than anyone because I've known him since we were practically in diapers. (Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but kindergarten is pretty young. I've known him for 13 years!) We were best friends forever. I used to tell him everything about everything. Plus, (major bonus) he's incredibly attractive. I attempted to draw a picture of him for you guys just now, but my paint skills are kind of mediocre and he kept turning out as a flesh-colored blob with splotches of hair-color and eye-color and clothing-color. So, I'll give you a brief description: Just picture a tall, muscley-but-not-too-muscley, blue eyed, floppy brown haired hunk of 6-and-a-half-foot glory. I sound like I'm in sixth grade. Dear Lord. Someone needs to smack me.

There was something else exciting I was going to talk about, but I can't think of whatever it was. I think tomorrow I'm gonna switch things up and not write about my day. I'll write about something more interesting/universal/funny. Any suggestions?

The phantom's been invaded by an opera?

Location: Desk
Listening to: The hum of the computer. And the clicky-typing-sound of fingers on a keyboard.
Days til Graduation: I honestly couldn't tell you right now. Low 50's, high 40's?
Followers: FIVE!!

I HAVE A NEW FOLLOWER!! A GIRL follower!! One who might actually care about all of my boy-gushing and obsessiveness (not that I doubt that the rest of you care, but no one can relate quite like another teenage girl!). You have no idea how excited this makes me. Hi, Hannah! :)

The past 36 hours have been kind of crazy. I worked yesterday, but they sent me home early (but not before I got to watch Princess and the Frog two times and witnessed someone come in complaining that we left the pins in their movies. These people had attempted to rip the pins out of the movies, totally destroying the cases, and then wanted us to give them credit on their account for inconveniencing them even though they're the ones who damaged our property and they totally got to watch their movies because of it).

Then I went to a local high school production of Phantom: The American Musical Sensation. It was kind of a ridiculous show. Exboyfriend #3 played the Phantom, and he has an amazingly good singing voice. But the plot was terrible. It was kind of like the Andrew Lloyd Webber version of Phantom, but the libretto seems to have been written by a third grade class. There's one song called "Phantom Fugue", which consisted mostly of, "The opera's been invaded by a phantom...the opera's been invaded by a phantom! The opera's been invaded by a ghooooOOOOoooOOOOoooost!" and occasional a "If you follow him you're following a phantom!"

After the show, my friends and I went to talk to Exboyfriend #3. And he had the good grace to point out that I wasn't having a panic attack about being in his presence. I pretended to kick him in the crotch and walked away. But he told one of my friends that he's glad we're "friendly" again. Which is kind of laughable. But whatever!

Today I went to see a performance of The Matchmaker that Alex and Alison and some of my other buds are in. It was hilarious. I'm going to all of the other performances. But seriously, that show had me cracking up all over the place. It was just....awesome. That's all I can think of to say. Awesome.

Then Alison had people over. And we watched Repo: The Genetic Opera (which rocked) and Avatar (which I was able to rent before street release - one of the perks of working at a video rental place). White Chocolate was present, but he spent a good deal of the time comforting Melissa, who was having some kind of boy crisis that she wouldn't explain to anyone except him and Alison. Which cause a little bit of 6th-grade drama. But again...whatever!

Besides, I get to see him tomorrow anyway. We're practicing our duet again. I'm supersupersuper excited. Aaahhhhhhhhhh!! You have no idea.

I'm sorry if this is kind of a lame post. It's just that I haven't slept a lot more than 6 hours in the past two or three days and my brain is kind of fried. I'm suffering from BEDA fatigue. Don't worry, though. I'm sure I'll be slightly more entertaining someday? Hopefully?

Yawwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. It's time for me to sleep now.

Night night, internet!

OOOH

Location: Desk
Listening to: Quirky quips on Gilmore Girls.
Days til Graduation: I can't remember.

Dani is in the shower right now and I'm gonna be freakishly busy for the rest of the day, so I'm typing this out quick before she gets back.

Our girls night last night was pretty fun. We rented movies and watched an excessive amount of Gilmore Girls and talked about boys. We watched the Lovely Bones. Which did not translate well into a movie, let me tell you. If I hadn't read the book, I would have had absolutely NO idea what was going on. And I'm pretty sure they changed some stuff. But really, if you want to see the movie, read the book instead.

ALSO!!! Ohhhh goodness!!! Yesterday was kind of the greatest day ever. White Chocolate and I practiced our duet after school. And it was gorgeous. And I'm not just saying that because it was him playing the guitar and singing (which was really, really, really attractive) and me playing the piano and singing. Well, maybe that has a little to do with it. But it just blended really well and we did pretty good for our first time practicing together. I had chills. No joke.

We're getting together again Monday (and possibly a few other days next week) to practice some more. I'm soooo excited!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!! I don't mean to be one of those boy-crazed teenage girls who does nothing but obsess/gush over her crush. Frankly, those kinds of girls annoy me. But...there's really nothing else to talk about right now. And...I probably am one of those girls, which would explain why I hate them, because I have a really strong personality and I dislike when people do things like I do.

(Because I'm a jerk.)

And yes, TS Hendrik, Alex pretty much is a genius. He's snarky to the max and can come up with a scathing comeback in less time than it takes me to go off on a tangent about whatever boy has currently captured my attention.

Alright. I think Dani's getting out of the shower now. BYE!

Day of Silence

Location: Desk
Listening to: Gilmore Girls
Days til Grad: Who cares?!


Funniest thing that happened to me today: My friend Alex was participating in Day of Silence. I was arguing with him over something, but it was taking a while because he had to write down everything he wanted to say. Finally I gave up and just went, "You...you...asshole!" And he writes:

"I'm more clever than you even when I can't talk."

That's my story for the day. I made it! YAY!

:)

It's Thursday?

Location: Desk.
Listening to: Reba. Ew.
Days til Graduation: 53? Maybe?

This is gonna be a super short one. I know there was a comment on my last post but I checked it this morning and I can't remember who it was from or what they said (although, I'm fairly sure whatever it was amused me?) so I won't respond right now.

Today I was walking down the stairs at the end of the day and the guy in front of me was wearing a jean jacket. With a wolf embroidered on the back. It made me really happy, because I was having a kind of off day (I kept thinking it was Friday even though, newsflash! it's definitely Thursday).

It's humid again. And I think it might rain at some point in the next 24 hours, but there's really no way to be sure. But I want this humidity to go away, because it's making wearing clothes kind of a miserable experience and society says walking around un-nude is the more acceptable way to go.

Alright. Tomorrow I practice my duet with White Chocolate for our variety show (which auditions are coming up for). We're doing Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard. He's playing guitar and singing back up vocals and I'm singing most of it and playing piano. I'm reallyreallyreallyreally excited for it. Hopefully I don't suck it up, though. I'm going to be really nervous practicing with him! Aagghhh!!!

Then my friend Dani and I are having a girls night. Which will be awesome, because I desperately need some girl time to un-freak my mind. There will be much shopping and watching Gilmore Girls and gossip about boys. Of course.

Now, off to my grandparents. Aggghhhhh! More later (although I really don't know when I'm going to have time to write tomorrow! Ahhh!!!!!)

B-b-b-burnin' up

Location: D.E.S.K.
Listening to: Reba. God, I hate this show.
Days til Graduation: 53 or so.
Followers: Still four!

Last night I had a really odd dream. In this dream, I was reading hayleyghoover's blog (which I'm mildly obsessed with. If you haven't, start reading it. It's witty and clever and hilarious. I accidentally stumbled across it one day while Google-searching for some random thing from this book, and I was hooked. I doubt she knows who I am, but she's my blogging role-model.) and there were all kinds of hilarious Harry Potter references, and I was on my laptop somewhere and everyone kept trying to read over my shoulder and I kept getting really mad because I didn't want anyone else to read it because it was my thing and I didn't want to share the thing that I liked because then all kinds of other people would run around talking about it and it wouldn't seem as special/cool to me anymore.

This dream makes me think that blogging has definitely reached the "I'm-addicted-and-if-I-miss-a-post-I-fear-I'll-start-going-through-withdrawl" stage.

Also, I remembered one thing I forgot to tell you yesterday: I set a towel on fire in my foods class. Seriously. It was a Home Ec. disaster the likes of which are only seen on Disney Channel shows and after-school specials. I was switching my peanut butter cookies in the oven, but the pot holder things were really far away and there was a conveniently located dish towel and I just had to adjust one of the cookie sheets, so I grabbed the towel and stuff. And it did a good job at not burning my hand (well, kind of. They're not as thermo-resistant as TV shows make them seem...), but it didn't do a very good job of being flame-retardant when it hit the heating coil at the bottom of the oven.

Luckily, the rest of my group was MIA and the teacher was on the opposite side of the room, so I quickly tossed the (now-riddled-with-singe-holes) towel in the sink and ran some water over it to make it stop burning. So no one saw. I was in the clear. But that just made it kind of smokey and smell really bad. Fortunately, no one seemed to care. So...I win.

I'm gonna go now. I have to work tonight. So....yeah. (I've always sucked at conclusions. Can you tell?)

Trailer Park of Terror

Location: Take one guess.
Listening to: The laugh-track on That 70's Show
Days til Graduation: 54
Followers: Foor. (Yes. Foor.)

Hello, Internet. How are you today? I've gotta say, I'm having a pretty awesome day today. Well, maybe not awesome, exactly. But not sucky.

Things That Made Today Not Suck:

-GLEE COMES BACK!!! <3
-I got rear-ended leaving school by a giant truck (kind of like that), except my tiny car is apparently part tank because it was totally fine. I'm not even sure it was scratched. And the rear-ender felt bad, which proved to me that stoner hicks DO have feelings! So hah, high school stereotypes. I laugh in your faces! (I was just tempted to type "feces" but that wouldn't have made sense, or been appropriate...but it made me giggle anyway...because I'm incredibly mature for my age...)
-I made four dozen peanut butter cookies in foods (AND DIDN'T MANGLE THEM IN ANY WAY!) and got to keep them ALL because the rest of my group was: a.) at a track meet -or- b.) ditching class.
-I have almost no homework.
-It rained.

So, it was a pretty non-sucktastic day. Which is nice. I wanted to write this post while watching the new episode of Glee tonight (which is my favorite show, probably because I'm a theater kid and looovvveeee that someone decided to make musical TV series), but then I realized that would mean I would either have to not pay attention to Glee, not pay attention to writing, or write from my virus-ed laptop.

None of those sounded like fun.

So I'm writing now. Except, like yesterday, there really isn't anything to write about. Oh! I have to answer Jeff:

I'm pretty sure what we need at our country's helm is not a vampire, but Abe Lincoln. Zombie Abe Lincoln. Only a genetically engineered zombie Abe Lincoln who was not preoccupied with eating brains, but could think rationally (kind of like the zombies in Trailer Park of Terror, which is maybe one of the unintentionally funniest movies I have ever seen). Because think about this: If Abe Lincoln was so far ahead of his times in the 1860's and was more or less a political genius, think of what 140 years of doing nothing but laying in his grave thinking about things has given him. He probably has ultimate knowledge/mad logic skillz (with a "z").

Oh man, now that I have Trailer Park of Terror on the brain, I want to make a list. So I will.

Top 3 Unintentionally Funny Horror Movies

(I love cheesy horror movies, so I'm kind of an expert. I was originally gonna make a Top 5 list, but I couldn't think of any others that live up to the standards set by these three. Go out and rent these. Right now.)

3.) Vampire Assassin - Don't be fooled by the cover. This is nothing like the Blade movies. There isn't even anyone in the movie who looks like the guy on the cover. I'm pretty sure this was made with a $10 budget by illterate people who knew how to use two effects on iMovie: the lightning bolts, and the swooshing sound. Picture an overweight black man learning kung fu from an octogenarian to turn into a vampire hunter. Highlights: Slovak (the main vamp) deflecting bullets with his cape, the giant ogre-type guy in the cut up shirt, and the final lines.

2.) Trailer Park of Terror - A bus full of misguided high schoolers coming back from a church trip intended to help purify their souls crash and end up stranded in a trailer park from hell. Literally. The zombies in this movie are no ordinary zombies, but are capable of disguising themselves as ordinary humans and plotting crazy stuff. This might have been a religious metaphor for redemption (because of the church trip affiliations and the fact that the one girl who lives "ONLY WANTED TO BE LOVED!!!!") but it's mostly you're typical bad-horror-movie-bloodbath. Highlights: A guy with a mullet and sideburns playing guitar on top of a trailer next to a confederate flag, Trace Adkins cameo where he makes snakes evaporate, and a pot field booby-trapped with mines.

1.) Dracula 3000 - It takes place in the year 3000 on an abandoned space junker. Where Dracula somehow wound up. It stars Coolio as a burned out genius, along with Baywatch bombshell Erika Eleniak as a cyborg. The whole movie seems like it's going to turn into a porno (it's that cheap looking and all of the women are that scantily clad). I can't remember much beyond that because I was too busy laughing to pay that close of attention (although I do recall a paraplegic scientist, a very manly woman with a Russian accent, and someone else who had at one point been semi-famous, but obviously was struggling at the time the script for this movie landed on his agent's desk). Highlights: Coolio saying "I want to ejaculate all over your bazonkas," and the secret clip after the credits. How is this not a winner? No competition.

Honorable Mentions: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

What are your top 3 unintentionally funniest movies?

What's a Hufflepuff?!

Location: Dessskkkkkkkkkk
Listening to: Birds chirping outside the window...and people on Tyra fighting over whether or not to spank your children
Day's til Graduation: 55
Followers: Four.

This is gonna be a quick one. First, lemme respond to comments. Briane P: I'm a coward. Which is why I'm not talking to White Chocolate about a possible "us" type situation right now. He's only been single for about a month, and before that he was dating someone pretty consistently for the past four years. So I'm giving him some time and trying to reestablish our friendship first. Plus, he and I are going to the same college next year, so it's not really a now-or-never type situation.

Also, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has along story behind it. My friend/future roommate and I have this huge inside joke involving Abe being a sexy beast, and how she wants him to be her boyfriend, etc. We get each other Abe-themed gifts (she got me a bracelet made of pennies once. I got her an Abe-shaped cookie cutter and a penny-shaped notepad and stuff. You get the picture). So when I saw this book, I thought it looked hilarious. This was when I was dating Boyfriend #2/4. He ended up getting it for me (partly because he knew of my love for Abe, partly because he thought I was obsessed with vampires...which I'm not).

Mostly, it looks highly amusing. And kind of wonderful in a quirky kind of way. (I did decide to put off reading it, though. I'll give you a final review when I finish it.)

Actually, besides that, there's really not much to talk about today. I don't want to rant about boys or school or anything, and there's nothing terribly exciting going on with me. So.....yeah!

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Location: DESK.
Listening to: The Simpsons
Days til Graduation: 56?
Followers: Four.

I have no motivation to do anything. Seriously. I'm supposed to be writing an editorial (that I told my newspaper adviser I've been working on at home all week...which, in actuality, I haven't even thought about starting yet), writing a speech I have to give for a class on Tuesday, and reading all the stuff from Heart of Darkness that I haven't read yet, because I guess we're having a big quiz thing tomorrow on it.

Instead, I'm watching The Simpsons. And debating whether or not I should start reading Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. And trying to finish my laundry and maybe taking a shower. All of which are highly academically stimulating activities, obviously.

Our choir concert went as predicted: It was hot on stage. I got sweaty and almost fainted once or twice during songs. Then I sat down. I just realized this is leading to a story about an exboyfriend, but you guys don't know who my exboyfriends are. So I shall detail them for you quickly:

Exboyfriends: The High School Years

Exboyfriend #1: I dated him from the end of my freshman year to just before my junior year. He was a year older than me. Also, he was a drummer and thought he could play guitar and sing (but he couldn't). His mom was scary. I broke up with him because, even though he was nice to me, I finally realized he was a jerk to my friends...and kind of obnoxious. (And also because I realized I still had feelings for White Chocolate).

Exboyfriend #2/4: I dated him from November to February my junior year and February to March this year. He was in a band for a while and was a pretty nice guy. He was the first guy I dated to break up with me, which sucked. He actually broke it off both times. The first time over the phone because he wasn't completely over his ex. That left me heartbroken and crying for weeks. The second time over a text conversation because he didn't want to get too attached since I'm leaving for college...in six months. That just left me pissed off.

Exboyfriend #3: I dated him from June to August the summer before my senior year. He was an exboyfriend of one of my not-so-close friends (I kind of sort of unintentially homewrecked their relationship...but in my defense, they were on rough ground before I came along). He was also a musician (he played every instrument ever and sang), and he was obsessed with conspiracy theories (I'm not even joking. One time he told me about how all of the governments of the world are working on weather weaponry so they could use weather to wage war. He insisted that Hurricane Katrina was an attack of Weather Warfare). He ended up cheating on me with my friend/his ex, so I broke it off. Actually, Exboyfriend #2/4 defended my honor and yelled at him for me. Exboyfriend #3 ended up blaming me and saying that he didn't think cheating mattered and blahblahblah. I had panic attacks the first few times I saw him after that.

Anyway, now that you're caught up with that, Exboyfriend #3 was at the concert. Which caused some mild awkwardness, because he's trying to get back with his ex/my friend (but she won't take him back because we both agree the whole situation this summer was his fault and he's not worth either of our time). But mostly I ignored him.

Also, last night, Exboyfriend #2/4 started talking to me for pretty much the first time since we broke up last month. He was asking me if I was dating Alex and talking about how he could tell that we were super close and how he's jealous that I have such good friends. I'm pretty sure he was stoned, which is infuriating because he was always the guy who's like, "I don't get why people feel the need to drink or get high to have fun and stuff" which meshed nicely with my straightedge ways. And now he drinks and gets high. I hate it when people go against everything they stood for. Especially because he never really cared what people thought, and now he does. Because he's a huge coward and he's afraid no one likes him because he keeps pushing people away by doing asshole-ish things that no one wants to put up with, but he wants everyone to like him.

Aggghhhh. Boys are stupid.

(Even White Chocolate. He's not an exception to this rule. Although we did enjoy some flirty banter type stuff today. But it was over Facebook, which is stupid. He didn't even talk to me at our concert today. GAAHHH. Boys are stupid.)

Alright. Rant over. More tomorrow. :)

This Isn't New Moon

Location: Die Schreibtisch
Listening to: Hootie and the Blowfish playing in the background of an episode of Cold Case (because, honestly, I'm too lazy to find the remote or get up and change the channel, and besides, I think Family Guy comes on next anyway)
Days til Graduation: 57
Followers: Vier.

TS Hendrik: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE HILLS WEREN'T ACTUALLY ALIVE?!?!??!!!!? Just kidding. I knew that. I was actually in a stage production of Sound of Music my freshman year. It was more or less the most boring show I've ever been in (but I got to learn how to waltz, so I really can't complain).

I worked a 7.5 hour shift today and I'm suuuppppeeerrrr pooped out now. I can barely keep my eyes open. I was going to go shower and stuff, but I was afraid if I did that before I wrote on here, I wouldn't get a post in today. And I didn't want to disappoint anyone. So, this is probably gonna be a seriously inadequate post (as I'm half-tired/half-dead/half-wishing-I-were-in-the-shower).
 
Deal with it. 

I'm in a funky mood. A bunch of my friends came in while I was working and it was cool to see them, but seeing them reminded me that they were all hanging out and doing something fun and I was stuck at work Which is incredibly lame when you're 18 and live for the weekends because they're pretty much the only chance you get to a.) sleep b.) see your friends and c.) do laundry.

Anyway, it was cool to see them. It brightened up my night a little bit. They tried to sneak in to surprise me, but Melissa (she'll probably show up in here a lot, so remember her. She's a year younger than all of us, has some weird/rare disease and is miraculously recovering from it, even though the doctors thought she never would, and is constantly bouncing off the walls) yelled my name when she saw me. Then Steve decided to come flirt with me, and I told them to go rent Twilight-themed porn (it's called This Isn't Twilight and This Isn't New Moon. I find the fact that there's actually Twilight-themed porn hilarious, because it just shows how big of a cult that series has become. It's not like there's Harry Potter porn or anything. And Harry Potter is waaayyyy cooler than Twilight). They did. It made me smile.

Tomorrow is my last high school chorus concert. I'm so glad, because I'm not a fan of standing on risers on the stage under the grotesquely hot lights and singing songs I've sung every day for the past forever (several of which I don't even enjoy singing) for ten minutes and then sitting and watching the other choirs sing their songs. Plus, I have a love/hate relationship with my choir's uniform.

I'm in the advanced all-women's choir. Prior to this year, our uniforms made us look like librarians. They consisted of floor length maroon skirts (that had no shape, they just went straight from your hips to the ground and had a slit halfway up to your ass in the back so you could walk), baggy maroon sleeveless tops, and sheer black cover up things that didn't close with swooshy sleeves. Thankfully, the fashion gods smiled upon us and we managed to scrape together enough money to order new dresses. They're classy black numbers with elbow-length sleeves and a flattering cut and a bow that ties in the back to make them more universally-fit. However, black + stage lights = freakishly hot. Which means freakishly sweaty. Which means freakishly GROSS. And that's not cool. Because I'm also in the chamber choir (which is the advanced combined choir) with White Chocolate. And I do not want him to see me in my freakishly gross state. That would just not be nice.

Siiiiggghhhh. I can't really think of anything else to say. Today wasn't that interesting. I played Bejeweled for about 80 hours and listened to the Once soundtrack on repeat (because I am in love with Glen Hansard's voice/guitar skills.) Which reminds me! White Chocolate and I are going to do Falling Slowly (by Glen Hansard -- look it up!) for our variety show in May. He's gonna play guitar and sing back up, I'm gonna sing lead vocals. YAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Alright. Done for real now. 
Peace, yo.

Suddenly Seymour...

Location: Desk.
Listening to: The dulcet tones of Roseanne.
Days til Graduation: 58!
Followers: Still four!

I just got back from one of the more epic/entertaining nights of my life, and the whole time I could only think, "I can't wait to get home and blog about this!"

I think that qualifies as "a problem".

Anyway, here's what happened:

Alison and I went on an adventure to a town about half an hour away to see their high school's production of Little Shop of Horrors. The drive there was awesome. It was sunny. We blared good music and danced in our seats. All was well.

Now, we're both huge fans of Little Shop. We were singing along and complaining about how no one could live up to the Rick Morranis version (although the kid who played Mr. Mushnik was AWESOME). Intermission came. Then the last act. We were SUPER EXCITED to hear "Suppertime". But our excitement was extinguished when the plant ate Audrey.

NO ONE TOLD ME THAT AUDREY DIES IN THE STAGE VERSION!!! And to make matters worse, Seymour jumps in right after her AND DIES TOO!!!! That is NOT how it is supposed to end. For anyone who hasn't seen the movie, they kill the plant and live happily ever after in a picturesque suburb...until the film cleverly ends with a shot of a new man-eating plant budding in their front yard.

So, we had to bury our feelings with the only thing capable of making us forget the tragedy we had just endured: Taco Bell. Luckily, there was one in this town. So we GPS'ed it, but when we got there, it didn't look open. So we turned around and left. Half an hour later, we got back to our town. Except we took a wrong exit and ended up on the wrong side of town and got completely lost and almost started going the wrong way down the highway. BUT WE FOUND A TACO BELL!!! We pulled in, but felt like that would be cheating on our go-to T-Bell. We felt disloyal and unworthy of the heaven that is the Crunchwrap Supreme if it didn't come from the place we always went. So we adventured back off to find home/our Taco Bell.

Two more wrong exits and nearly running a stoplight later, we got to our Mecca. We went in, got our food, and ate. And then we left. But as we were leaving, we heard someone wolf-whistle at us (we were still dressed up from going to the show, so we decided afterwards that we couldn't really blame them). But then we realized the wolf-whisteling was coming from two ghetto-gangsta-wanna-be-boys walking straight at us. So we ran to the car and promptly locked the doors and screamed.

Because what else were we gonna do?

Anyway, we ended up getting stuck in the driveway trying to leave Taco Bell and we were scared the guys were gonna come and try to talk to us (even though we were in the car with the doors locked) and almost drove out into oncoming traffic to get away.

Which brings us to the moral of this story: Hyped up teenage girls should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery.

Thank you. This has been a PSA from your local Council for the Control and Management of Hormone-Crazed Teens.

Some people are FOURTY.

Location: Still at the dratted computer desk.
Listening to: A lady with a cool British accent talking about overcoming her tragic deformity on Tyra.
Days til Graduation: 59!
Followers: FOUR!!!

Yes! A new follower!! HI PETRI!!! Honestly, you guys have no idea how excited it makes me that people are actually reading this. And that they find it interesting/amusing enough to decide "Hey, I wouldn't mind getting updates when this person posts, even though she's given pretty much all the proof I need to diagnose her with some kind of disorder." Because I freak out over what to write about and whether or not what I say makes sense or if other people will find the things I find funny or if I'll be the only person laughing when I read what I wrote. Which is kind of sad, because:

1.) I don't actually know any of you, so why should I be that concerned with what you think?
2.) This is kind of just an outlet to hone my writing skills and kind of prepare me for the ridiculous amount of English-y type things I'm gonna have to do in college next year.
3.) I'm hilarious, so obviously you're all cracking up at my every word. (I'm also incredibly modest, if you couldn't tell).

Anyway, today I don't need to freak out over what I'm going to write about. Because Briane kind of decided for me. He posed an interesting question in a comment on my last post:

"Have you ever told White Chocolate how you feel? Why wait?"

Funny story, actually. Once upon a time, there was a girl who grew up in a tragically small town in a tragically dull state in the tragically unexciting Midwest. When she got to High School, some kids would actually drive their tractors to work when the weather was nice. That's the kind of town she lived in. But that's a different story.

Because she was from such a small community, she attended a rather small Elementary school where she met a rather tall boy who became one of her best friends. When they graduated from 5th grade and moved on up to the shiny new Middle School, they found themselves to be in the same "house" (this was how grades were divided up into smaller chunks. There were four houses [picture Hogwarts, but with Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin dividing one grade instead of the school]. Each kid in one house would have the same teachers for all their core subjects and would pretty much only associate with the kids in their house) and consequentially had most of their classes together. It was in their World History class one day in sixth grade, exploring the pyramids through a computer program on the school laptops after they had each zoomed in on palm trees (instead of the sarcophagi they were supposed to be looking at) and fighting over which was better, that she realized: she kind-of-sort-of-really-truly liked this boy.  

Like-liked him. She liked the way he made her laugh and teased her in that stupid boy kind of way and the way his hair flipped out when it grew too long and how he was just a really cool, nice boy.

So one day, she wrote him a note explaining her deep, adolescent lust and, in true 12-year-old fashion, had her best friend deliver it to his best friend who delivered it to him. Sadly, his reply said:

You caught me off guard when you wrote me the letter. It was completely out of the blue. I thought about it a lot and I think we should wait until at least 8th grade, then I might consider it, if you ever ask again. I completely understand that you wouldn't want to go out with me after this letter and I too hope we could still be friends until then. Plus, my mom, oh, I won't even start about my mom feeling if I had a girlfriend at this age.

Well, bye.

P.S. Sorry about the bad penmanship, any mispelled words, and/or any other mistakes I made.

P.S. #2 I like no one in particular at all.*

She was sad for about five minutes, then decided they were better off as friends anyway and skipped merrily along her way.

Flash forward a few months. It's near the end of the school year. The girl and the boy are about to become big, bad seventh graders. One day in science, the boy slips her a note. It says:

I've changed my mind. I do like you, I guess. I just didn't know it at the time when I got your note. I would like to date you, and maybe I'll invite you somewhere, sometime.*

She was elated. And they dated (a.k.a. hung out around friends and held hands maybe, sometimes) for the summer, until she realized that, at twelve, she really wasn't ready for a relationship. She broke up with him over an Instant Messanger conversation, telling him he was her best friend and she wasn't ready to date anyone, but maybe, like he said, sometime in the future.

The next year went by with little incident. The boy dated many girls. The girl dated a boy or two. They thought they were very mature as 13-year-olds. The girl got the boy involved in theater (and everyone discovered that he actually had an amazing voice) and the boy helped the girl with her guy problems. However, towards the end of their seventh grade year, the girl realized there was one problem she couldn't ask him about. It was the problem that bothered her the most and that she wished she could get his advice on: she still had feelings for the boy. This was problematic, as he was her very best friend and he was dating someone else.

So she kept it to herself. Well, herself and her closest girl friends. They chattered about him every chance they got. Eventually, it was the beginning of their eighth grade year, their first year of Junior High (because their district had elementary, middle, junior high, and senior high schools), and the boy was once again single. It was a week or two before the girls birthday, and one of her best friends was spending the night. They were talking to the boy over Instant Messanger when the topic of crushes came up (as it was wont to do). They were playing a game of 20 Questions to find out who the other liked. It finally became pretty obvious that they were talking about each other, and the friend convinced the boy to tell her who he liked...as long as the girl couldn't see his answer. So the girl went and sat near the computer, but out of view, and the boy told the friend his answer:

The Girl.

Of course, the friend told the girl right away. The boy planned to ask her out at her birthday party. The night of her party came around, and right before he left, the boy gave her a hug and said, "So, um, do you want to go out with me?" and the girl answered with a resounding "YES!".

They dated happily for the next four months. Until, at a church lock-in, the girl decided she had a crush on a different boy and broke up with the boy to be fair. She told him she loved him like a brother and she still hoped they could be best friends. The boy told her friend that he still loved her and would wait for her to come back to him.

The girl began dating the church-lock-in boy, but after a few weeks, she realized that she didn't like him. She never really had. She had always liked the boy. By the time she broke up with church-lock-in boy, the boy was already dating a new girl. The girl selfishly wished the boy would break up with his new girlfriend, and even had one of her friends tell the boy she still had feelings for him. The boy told the friend that he and his new girlfriend were in love...the real kind. However, in a later conversation with a friend that had recently been broken up with and needed consoling, the boy admitted it had taken him over a year to get over the girl.

While the boy dated the new girl, he slowly left his friends behind. He stopped talking to the girl (although his new girlfriend frequently asked her for advice about him, because she knew nobody knew him better than the girl did) and their friendship suffered greatly.

The girl continued to pine after the boy. She dated other boys, having her first kiss, her first real break-up, and her first experience with being cheated on with boys that never lived up to the standard he had set. The boy continued to date his new girlfriend until the summer before his junior year of high school. He broke up with his new girlfriend while he, the girlfriend, and the girl were all in a summer musical together. The girl thought that this was her shot. She hung out with him more, talked to him more, and flirted with him more. Their friendship started to rebuild. However, he started dating a new girl a month or two after breaking up with the last one.

Like with girlfriend #1, when he began dating girlfriend #2, the boy abandoned his friends again - but to a greater degree than before. He stopped doing the extracurriculars they had all enjoyed together, opting for things his new girlfriend enjoyed instead. He dated new girlfriend #2 until the middle of his senior year. New girlfriend #2 was already in college, and she wanted to take a break. He got mad and suggested they just break up. The girl again saw her chance. She began to talk to the boy more, and hang out with him more, and flirt with him more.

And that's where they are today.


So THAT, my friends, is why I have not told White Chocolate how I feel.

An amusing conversation from lunch today--
Me: I can't get this bag of carrots open. They're childproof! Oh! There we go. (opens carrots)
Nate: Well, duh. You're not a child anymore. Then again, you're barely an adult. That could explain the issues.
Me: Hey! I've been 18 for almost six months!
Nate: (just staring at me) Some people are FOURTY.

*I did not make up any of these notes. I swear to God. I have them saved (taped into my diary from that year). These are real transcriptions of the real things. I hope White Chocolate never reads this, because I will be mortified to the point of death. (Especially because I definitely just broke my rule about not making it obvious who he is. Oops...)

White Chocolate

Location: Bottom of the Asiatic Sea (just kidding...computer desk.)
Listening to: Rabid fans cheering on Tyra
Days til Graduation: 60! (THAT'S ONLY TWO MONTHS!)
Followers: THREE!!!!

Oh man, I'm moving up in the world! Thanks, Jeff, for the follow. And I did mean Cheez-Its. Not Cheeze Nips. (I honestly don't know the difference because I never eat them and they all look the same to me, but apparently it makes a difference.) But I didn't blaspheme. Really.

Anyway, this episode of Abbie-Turned-Normal is about something incredibly obvious. Something so entirely expected that I named the post after it. That's right! You guessed it! Today I'll be talking about....

BOYS!!

Specifically, one boy. I swear, this will make more sense in about two sentences. Because obviously (since the three followers I have right now are male AND it's kind of an in-joke between me and Jess) White Chocolate probably does not make you think about potential love interest. So I shall explain:

Jess and I are incredibly obsessed with the movie Fanboys, and particularly Jay Baruchel in Fanboys. The movie is about this group of 20-something-guys (and their friend Zoey) who venture off to Skywalker Ranch so steal the first copy of Star Wars: Episode 1 before it is released to theaters. Pretty much it's the most hilarious movie ever (especially if you're a huge Star Wars geek) and it ends up being watched (and ultimately recited, because we've seen it that many time) nearly every time we hang out.

Jay Baruchel (whom we find incredibly witty and attractive in a geek-cute kind of way) plays this guy named Windows who is pretty much the biggest nerd in the history of Star Wars nerds. He's got an online girlfriend named RogueLeader (who described herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garofalo). And he describes himself as a white Billy Dee Williams (which he's totally not). And calls himself "White Chocolate".

Hence the code-name. Yeah, you read that right. Code name. You're probably thinking, "Dear Lord, this girl is crazy. A code name? Couldn't she just call him by someone else's name and possibly not sound quite so much like a psychopath in the process?"

The answer is: No. I'm pretty sure I couldn't sound like a psychopath if I tried, and also, code names make things much more entertaining. And distinguished. You will never mistake White Chocolate for Alex or Dillon or Steve or any of the other guys I mention in here. Also, in the event White Chocolate ever happens to read this, hopefully I won't be so excessively detailed that he knows it's him and spare my dignity (or, what scraps are left of it...I can feel them slipping away already) because he's nothing like Windows and stuff so . So. Um. Yeah.

Ok, so White Chocolate. He's this guy I've known pretty much forever. We shared lots of awkward hand holding during our middle school years and were best friends for a really long time (until he got an uber-possessive girlfriend and shunned his friends), but we're back to being friends again. And hopefully more. Because he's funny and he plays guitar and sings and he's smart and gorgeous and nice (insert hyperventilating here) and I could go on and on and on but I'm gonna cut off this gush-fest before I need to find someone to slap me to calm me down. Anyway, he's been perpetually dating someone since 8th grade, and he's finally single. So I'm just biding my time and hoping one of the (many other) girls who want him don't pounce before I can? (Which sounds ridiculously predatory. Oops. But, and I am not exaggerating, just about everyone wants him. He's that charming-and-unfairly-good-looking guy that most people love to hate, but he's not a dick, so no one hates him. Everyone just loves him. The girls all want him and the guys all want to be him. Well not "all". But the ones who know him.)

Maybe the third time's the charm? What are your thoughts? Agghhhh!!!

Cheeze Nips are growing on me

Location: Still the computer desk. I really need to get my laptop looked at.
Listening to: America's Next Top Model critiques. :)
Days til Graduation: 61 (I think I messed up my countdown at some point?)
Followers: TWO!!

YES! THAT'S RIGHT!!! I have a whopping TWO FOLLOWERS now!! TS Hendrik, HI!! I loved your idea for the potential punishment for the Girl Scout cookie money thief. I'm pretty sure anyone who isn't driven mad with guilt by sitting in the middle of a circle of pissed off/crying Girl Scouts (who are generally very cheerful/peppy little girls) is not human.

Today started out as the potentially longest day of my life but somewhere morphed into a pretty good time. Wednesday mornings, school starts an hour late for us, so we get to sleep in. It's supposed to give teachers time to collaborate and clubs time to meet. Mostly it gives me and my friends time to meet for some much needed coffee/bonding time. We go to this tiny, independantly-owned coffee shop that I worked at for about two years before I couldn't handle the manager's lack of sense and passive-aggressively quit (by saying I had to get a second job and wouldn't be able to work there until after I got trained and I'd let them know when I could come back...and never did...I'm kind of a coward when it comes to confrontation).

Anyway, this morning they were training two new people. And I got overcharged (but I caught it and got the right change) and stuff was made wrong. But I just grumbled to my friends and got over it. Then school kind of hated me (except we got to watch this cool video about Bellvue in Psych). I had to run for 10 minutes and I couldn't slack because I was forced to wear a heart monitor. And then there was a pop quiz in my AP Lit class on the 7 1/2 pages of Heart of Darkness we were supposed to have read...which I hadn't. So my day was kind of sucking.

Then I had to go straight from school to a voice lesson (to practice a duet with an extremely attractive-but-pretentious homeschooled guy for our senior recital) and straight from there to work until 10. It was going to be a 15 hour day.

But! I gained a follower! And I got off work 3 hours early (good for my mental health, bad for my bank account). And I caught most of America's Next Top Model (which I'm shamelessly addicted to)! And now I have time to blog and get my homework done and read and eat! (I'm munching on this great cheesy snack mix which has all kinds of carb-loaded goodness. Including Cheeze Nips. Which I usually avoid, because I think they taste like cardboard. But I like them! That's how good of a mood I'm in! My tastebuds can't even complain!)

The only things that could make this better are:
a.) cheesecake
b.) no homework (instead of having to read more of Heart of Darkness which, for those of you that are lucky enough not to have been forced to mentally digest it, consists of 72 pages of mind-numbing tedium and can be summed up by the words, "I'm on a boat")
c.) cute boys.

I'm definitely a teenage girl. ROTFLMFAOOL!!! (Just kidding.) (Except, not about the being a teenage girl part. That's true.) (Just kidding. I'm actually a 40-year-old man with a beer gut and a bad mullet.) (Just kidding again, I really am a girl. I promise.)

Well, I think that's it for now. My head kind of feels like it's about to explode, so I'm gonna stop staring at the computer. Maybe.

Girlscout Theft Update!

Location: Computer desk (my laptop is still virus-ed)
Listening to: Old reruns of Friends
Days til Graduation: 63.
Followers: Still 1 (HI BRIANE P!)

Hey folks! So, yesterday I mentioned a local news story about someone stealing $800 worth of Girl Scout cookie money from a 7-year-old (which brings to mind the question: what kind of a society are we living in where people:
a.) steal that much
b.) from a 7-year-old
c.) who got it from working hard selling Girl Scout cookies and ended up
d.) too ashamed to return to her Girl Scout troop afterwards?

and also: How did that girl sell $800 worth of cookies?!? I remember being a Girl Scout and not being able to sell $100 worth [although my lack of motivation might have had something to do with that]. I'm majorly impressed.)

Anyway, I watched the story on the 10 o'clock news and it turns out I was completely wrong. It wasn't a crazed mother or a crack addict or whatever it was I guessed. Apparently the Girl Scout's mom's best friend was the culprit. For some weird reason, she accompanied the mom and her daughters to a doctor appointment and while she was in the car with the chilluns, she snagged the money.

What a ho. That's really all I can say about that one. Anyone who'd do that definitely falls into the "ho" category. Stealing is bad enough, but stealing from a 7-year-old Girl Scout transcends my original definition of human badness.

In cheerier news, today I went out to an elementary school to talk to these little kids about journalism. It was pretty much the coolest thing ever. It was the smallest school in our district (the 5th grade class has 15 kids total...that small) but there were about 30 kids in their "journalism club". And they acted like we were rockstars. They were all so happy and excited that we were there and they loved listening to us. They (a group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders) come out with a 2 page newsletter every month. The fact that they seem to work hard and love doing it and are thrilled by the idea of school (which, as a cynical second-semester high school senior, is difficult for me to fathom) gives me hope for the future of society.

If any of them lose that drive (which I know some of them will), I'm pretty sure I'll cry. All day. Every day. For the rest of forever. I mean, I could probably count on one hand the number of kids my age who actually ENJOY being at school. The ones who look forward to classes and learning and love the (stifled) environment. But I'm pretty sure if more kids actually wanted to be there, it would be a nicer place. And we really wouldn't have to force ourselves to get out of bed at 6:00 a.m.

Blagh. My generation disheartens me.

In this foods class I'm taking, we started watching Supersize Me today. We're only 40-ish minutes into it, and I already regret every McMeal I've eaten in the past 18 years.

Well. That's it for now. Hopefully someone reads this. I know you guys are out there. I just know it! You just need to let me know. :)

Followers, Viruses, Homework - OH MY!

Location: Seated at my computer desk
Listening to: Teens talking about their risky sex lives on Tyra
Days til Graduation: 64!

Followers: ONE!!!

Yes, that's right!!! I HAVE A FOLLOWER!! Briane P - you win. What is your prize? It's amazing. It's wonderful. It's completely rare and one of a kind....

It's...

THE ABILITY TO CALL YOURSELF THE FIRST FOLLOWER OF MY BLOG!!! :D

Really, though. You rock. This post is dedicated to you. To anyone else who may read this: click that little follow button right over on the side! I know you see it. I would LOVE to get a small following. It's nice to know that this is reaching people (even though I'd enjoy writing it even if no one ever read it).

In other news, last night I managed to get a nasty virus on my laptop. I was purusing the lyrics to The Decemberists "The Hazards of Love" album when a mysterious Antivirus program started running scans on my computer. It turns out that this was just a tricky virus that has disabled iTunes, all Windows programs, Spybot Search & Destroy, and Firefox. So my technologically advanced friends are trying to talk me through the getting-rid-of-cyber-aids process (at which I'm failing, because I suck at technology). Hopefully it gets worked out, because I've only had that laptop for about two weeks. And I may have already killed it.

Go figure.

Before I get into the other stuff, I'm gonna give you a brief run down of

People Who May Appear In This Blog (so I don't have to continually explain who everyone is):

Alison - My best friend/partner in crime. She's the person I turn to when I'm having boy drama or life drama or just about any kind of drama. We don't hang out as much as we did last year, but we're still pretty close.

Allison - My friend-turned-penpal/future roommate. She moved to Texas my sophomore year, but is coming back for college, so we'll be sharing 12-square-feet of space next year. I'm excited.

Jessica - My other best friend. We bonded over Harry Potter and Star Wars, so pretty much every time we hang out is a geekfest. Sometimes our conversations turn into verbal combat because we both have so much to say.

Steve - The most mischievous of the bunch. He's constantly pulling pranks and doing stupid things to make people laugh. He is also an Eagle Scout.

Dillon - My Yoda. He's the one who's always giving me advice for one thing or another (even if half the time I don't agree with/follow it...). He's also super-sensitive, which makes him a good person to go to with guy problems.

Alex - My sassy gay friend. Actually, he's bi. And we spend most of our time flirting and gushing over cute boys. He bounces between amusing and annoying, but that's what makes him Alex.

Nicole - At one point, I would have described her as my arch-nemesis. But lately, we've been kind of getting along. She loves attention, which makes it hard to be around her in groups of people, but she's very smart and good at listening when you get her by herself.

Today was also the first day back to my hellhole High School after a luxurious spring break of sitting around my house. To quote one of the sports editors of our school paper (of which I'm Editor-in-Chief, by the way) "Our school's a prison." (You have to imagine it being said by the whitest white boy ever, trying to use a ghetto accent).

Actually, it's not that bad. They feed us. We don't get beaten. We're usually free of death/bomb threats. It's just a typical high school. Everything seems so long/dull/pointless though when you come back from a week of not having to do anything and sunshine-y 80 degree weather. We technically only have 44 more school days left until graduation (64 including weekends/days off), but that seems like an eternity. Senioritis is definitely getting the better of me. I have AP testing in a month, then a month of having to show up in spite of the majority of my classes technically being done. I'm so ready just to be done and out.

Next year I'm going to a state school 3 hours away from home for Journalism (or something with writing, I'm not sure if the journalism part will change or not once I get started). I honestly couldn't be more excited. I'm rooming with Allison, and one of my good guy friends (not named above) is going to the same school also, so I have a built-in flirting companion/potential Something (with a capital "S"). Pretty much, I'll just be glad to get out of this town.

I'll rant more about that later, though. For now, I'm going to try to de-virus my laptop.

Wish me luck!

[EDIT: You know it's a slow day when the local news station is reporting on a Girl Scout's stolen cookie money and the "shocking suspect." (My guess is troop leader or crazed mom). I just saw a commercial for the story and had to let the world know.]

[EDIT #2: I forgot to mention that today, this guy named Stuart in my AP Lit class totally made my life by lending me two Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova CDs and burning me a completely awesome mix of folk/indie music. This wouldn't normally be significant except for:

1.) He's pretty much the quietest kid ever. He moved here from Maine for his senior year, which probably explains some of the shy-ness. But everyone thinks he's the man.

2.) He's a ginger. And looks like a baby hipster with his glasses and facial fuzz. (This isn't significant, but it's interesting).

3.) I didn't even ask him for any of these spectacular examples of music. He just noticed my status on Facebook (fondly referred to as "Crackbook", "Faceplace" and "Why-The-Hell-Am-I-So-Addicted-To-This-Sad-Example-of-Pseudo-Social-Activity?-book") about watching Once and loving it, and he messaged me going "Hey Abbie. I'm a connoisseur of all things music and I just happen to have some CDs you might like and, oh yeah, I burned you a mix the other day because I felt like it." (Well, not in those exact words. But you get the point.)

It was the only thing that made my Monday not a complete waste of time.

Ok, done for real now....unless I remember anything else I need to share. :)]