Sunday, July 11, 2010

This is me right now: #$&!)#(*@^

Location: The couch
Listening to: The Bounty Hunter
Days til College: 50

So, remember the other day when I ranted about my friends? And then the day after that when I decided I was just being melodramatic? Well, I'm back to thinking I need new friends. Seriously. I am getting so sick of this.

There was a bonfire the other night. My family and I took my dad out for his birthday, so we were out late, but I said I'd try to swing by the fire when we were done. I texted at 10:30 and asked if it was still going on, and the hostess said it was almost done. And then I found out the next day that people were there super late. Like, at least midnight, if not later.

And I continue to not get invited to things. And get plans cancelled on me. And ganged up on about stupid things. And made to feel like the stupidest person ever. And all kinds of other shit like that. And I'm so fed up. I thought these people were my friends. No, not just my friends. My best friends. But apparently I'm not that important to them. This summer is less than mediocre, which is sad, because it's my last real summer. After this who knows how much time I'll have to just hang around with people?

So I'm trying to make plans with people I haven't seen in a while and trying to rekindle old friendships. I don't want to put up with the shit from these people I've been hanging out with. It's just really frustrating. I want to yell at them and tell them how they're making me feel, but I'm completely non-confrontational. So I'm just phasing them out. Whatever. If they want to hang out with me, they can make the effort, because I'm tired of trying only to get shut out. I deserve better.

I'm kind of miserable. I feel like no one really cares about me. Which is stupid, because I know a lot of people do. Just not the ones who I thought did. Or who I wanted to. I mean, for the past year, I thought these people were my best friends. But now when I even try to talk to them, all I get are "Uh huh"s and "K"s and "That's not how I remember it...blahblahblah"s. It's like I just stopped mattering.

Ack. Ackackack. Ack.

4 comments:

  1. Sounds frustrating. I hope they come to their senses.

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  2. I think trying to connect with old friends or new people is a great idea. It will make you feel better about yourself and you will see that not everyone will respond to you the way you 'friends' are. Venting is good too. I loves me a good vent. Hope you have a better week coming up.

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  4. Oh Abbie, I think we're going through very similar things in some of our relationships right now. And it S-U-C-K-S!

    It's like they only want to be your friend when they want to be your friend?? Or only when they have a problem. And it's always all about them. Kinda deal. That's my issue anyway.

    And the K's...any one word texts...just make it 1927498475 times worse.

    I agree with Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness, rekindling old friendships is a great idea! Thinking of you. Hope the week gets better for you :)

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