Beliefs

Location(s): Work/home
Listening to: Sports Center (or some ESPN type sports show thing)

It isn't often that I trot out my personal beliefs and rant about controversial things on here. In fact, I don't think I've ever done that before. But today I read some things that really made my blood boil, and I believe that using your voice is one of the best ways to bring about change. You may not all agree with me, and I completely understand that. I just hope you respect my beliefs, and if you don't, hopefully we can have a civil conversation about out differences.

Anyway, in case you haven't heard, on Saturday a gay Marine proposed to his partner at the White House. This lovely, adorable, happy story has blown up the internet. Until recently, individuals involved in the U.S. military weren't allowed to be openly gay. And, as many are aware, most states in the U.S. don't allow gay marriage, but the Supreme Court will be hearing cases about the legality of gay marriage and many states are starting to recognize marriage between two men or two women in addition to "traditional" marriage. So it's kind of a wonderful thing that these two men were allowed to express their love openly without any fear of persecution through their jobs or their government.

I hadn't heard about this story until ten minutes ago when a friend shared this photo on Facebook. The photo was originally posted on a group, and, being the curious individual that I am, I decided to read the comments to see what people thought.

What I saw made my heart literally hurt. There was so much negativity. People were ranting that being gay is morally wrong and that these two men will rot in hell. They were saying that God doesn't approve of these men loving each other and that it's wrong that the United States is beginning to legally recognize gay marriage. They were saying that the Marine who proposed had no business being involved in the military, and that he was obviously not a good person because he "chose to be" gay.

I'm not a very religious person, but I was raised in a religious household. Personally, I believe that God doesn't care what love looks like. I think he just wants people to find love and embrace it. I think he would understand that we're born the way we're born. In fact, I know he does. He makes us people we are.

I also strongly disagree with the argument that, because the Bible describes marriage as between a man and a woman, that is the only way it can be. Marriage was around long before Christianity as the religion we know it as today. Pagans who knew nothing of the god that Christians worship celebrated marriage long before the New Testament existed.

If we all followed the Bible to the letter, fathers would be able to sell their wives and daughters like property. Incest would be okay. Eating certain foods that we now eat  all the time would be forbidden.

Especially with all of the tragedy the world has experienced lately, it really upset me to see people being so hateful about something that is supposed to be a happy and beautiful time. Marriage, no matter what religion it is in or what the beliefs are of the people getting married, is a wonderful thing. Knowing you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and loving them so much you never want to spend a day without them is a rare thing. We should be happy for anyone who finds that kind of love.

I think now, more than ever, we need to bite back our negativity and show our love instead. The world is a dark and scary place, but there is still beauty. There is still love. We need to remember that the people we share this world with are also people - not animals, not inanimate objects, but people with thoughts and feelings and lives outside of our own. When we disagree with something, there are ways we can express ourselves and our opinions without being harsh and negative.

Whether or not you believe that gay marriage (or being gay in general) is right, I hope you can still find the happiness in the love stories shared by people who identify themselves as gay. I hope you see that we are all human, and we need to respect and support each other if we ever want to heal this broken world.

Fact: Nice Things Make Me Cry

Location: Work
Listening to: Nothing

Fact: Hearing/reading about people who do extraordinary nice things for complete strangers without any expectation of something in return makes me get teary.

It's easy to forget that nice people still exist. It seems like everyone is motivated by what they can gain by doing things for other people. It seems rare to actually see someone do something nice for someone else just because they want to be nice.

I love seeing things about people who randomly pay for a stranger's meal without them knowing or help a family buy something for their kids, just because they want to. It seriously makes me cry to be reminded that wonderful, kind, loving people still exist, and they want to help others just because they feel like it, or someone else helped them once.

Have you ever heard of Pay It Forward? It's a book/movie about a little boy who is given a class assignment (I think, it's been a while since I've read it) to do something nice for someone else and then tell the class about it. When he did his random act of kindness, he asked the person he helped to pay it forward and help someone else.

This is such an amazing principle. Think of how wonderful the world would be if everyone helped each other and didn't expect to gain anything, but just asked the person to pay it forward and help out someone else.

So, I've got a challenge for you. Try to do something really nice for someone. Don't ask for anything in return, just ask them to pay it forward. The less you know the person you help, the more exciting it will be. And then let me know about your experience! Or, if you've ever helped someone or someone has helped you, tell me about it! I love these stor

Dear Readers; I Am Dead

JUST KIDDING.

I AM NOT REALLY DEAD.

JUST REALLY, REALLY EXCITED.

So, I don't know if you guys saw the latest post on my book blog,* but I found out some really exciting news the other day. I know it's really stupid to swear and it's a display of a poor vocabulary, but honestly, my first thought when I heard was, "HOLY EFFING EFF!!! THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE!!! AHHHH!!!!"

And then I died of excitement.

Why, you may ask? Well, HarperCollins has a website dedicated to books for young adults. It's called Epic Reads. They have all kinds of giveaways, book clubs, and a ton of other nerdy goodness. It's pretty much like Facebook for people aged 12-25 who prefer books over people. Which is amazing.

Well, they sent out a message via social networks earlier last week saying that they were looking for some folks who hasn't read a number of dystopian and paranormal series that they publish who would be willing to read the series in a fairly short time period and blog about their reading experience.

So I filled out the application (which included a question about how you thought the world would end. My belief: chaos followed by giant, benevolent penguins who will save us all) and made a rather silly video and then sat around and completely forgot that I even applied.

On Saturday, I just happened to check my GMail account (which I hardly ever use except for my blogs and when I sign up for things from stores and such) and I had this e-mail that I nearly deleted because it looked like junk.

Only, at the last second, I realized it was from the Epic Reads people.

And they were telling me that I was selected to review one of their series (the Full Moon series by Ellen Schreiber)!

Over 400 people applied to do this, and they only selected 14 (two for each series). So pretty much, I will be blogging on a super cool website through an actual publishing company where hopefully a lot of people will read my reviews and find my blogs and perhaps lead to a job opportunity as a book reviewer and thus fulfilling my life's dream.

You can see why this is pretty much the most exciting thing of my life. And I had to share it with you all!! And now I have to go read a book for school, which should be fun and exciting. But I'll post again soon! Don't you worry! And it won't even be about my book blog next time!

*I almost typed "boob blog," which would have been awkward. And also, sorry for only talking about my book blog here anymore. I'm just really excited about it.

SEO, yo!

Location: Couch
Listening to: Aladdin ::D

So, I was looking at my stats for this blog (because it amazes me that I continue to get views even though I post erratically at best) and I made a surprising discovery:

The #1 search term that leads people to my blog is "bear party." Or other things about bears having parties. Probably because of my bear party post.

(Also, I just searched that to see for myself what comes up. Good news: my blog post officially makes it on the first page of Google search results. Bad news: the rest of it is porn....)

It's funny how using certain tags can get people to read what you're writing. I never would have expected the fact that I mentioned the words "bear party" to bring people to my blog (although, now I'm kind of concerned about what they were looking for when they found this....)

Do you guys use the label function on your blogs? Do you find that some of your tags bring in more views than others?

For anyone who does use the labels/tags (or who might start using them after reading this), I've got a tip for you! I learned today that SEO (search engine optimization) programs will write you off if you tag too much. You should really only tag things that are mentioned a lot.

Like, if you were writing about a Susan G. Komen breast cancer walk, "cancer" or "breast cancer" are phrases that would probably bring in a lot of hits. But you'd be better off to tag it as the specific breast cancer walk you are talking about. The more specific, the better.

If you use a lot of general terms, or throw in tags you know will bring in a lot of hits just to draw traffic, SEO programs will think you aren't being accurate and they'll pretty much ignore your tags.

Just a tip! I hope you're all doing well and getting excited for the holiday season (or winter, if you don't celebrate any winter holidays).

If you've got a free second, please check out my new book review blog! I'd really appreciate some feedback and followers over there! Let me know what you think!

Irrational Irretation

Location: Work
Listening to: Some pre-football thing on TV

Ok, so, I'm about to let my crazy out. Beware!

We all have little things that irk us. A lot of them don't make much sense to other people. I'm sure everyone can think of at least one thing that they hate, even though they know it's ridiculous to hate it.

For me, that one thing is other people doing my work.

I am a very independent worker. When I'm given responsibilities, I like to do them myself. If I need help, I'll ask for it, but if it's something I can easily get done myself, I want to do it that way. By. My. Self.

This makes group projects and other group-work scenarios kind of a nightmare for me. I turn into kind of a control freak. I'd much rather be doing the entire project (or whatever the case may be) by myself. Usually it's something I could easily crank out on my own, so having to divvy up jobs with people who may or may not do them (or do them to my level of satisfaction) causes me a lot of stress.

But group projects are temporary evils. They only spring up a few times a year and only last for a few weeks. I can tolerate them long enough to ensure I get a good grade on my part of the project. Usually I can compartmentalize enough that I detach myself from whatever my partners are responsible for.

Lately, though, I've been in a situation of being stuck with an overly helpful person who I cannot get rid of. I'm an office assistant for a small business. My office manager used to be this super awesome girl named Jane. She was maybe 6 or 7 years older than me and she was super fun and nice. It was great going to work, because she was so much fun to work with.

But then Jane's husband got a job several hours away and she moved. She was replaced by an older woman named Jo. Jo is very nice as well, but she doesn't let me do my job. I don't have a lot of responsibilities as it is, but she continues to do small tasks for me. Tasks that I have to do every day. And that I've done every day in the year I've worked here. With no help from anyone, because they are so utterly simple that a monkey could do them. I have plenty of time to get all of my closing tasks done and I always do them.

The whole issue started a week or two ago. One of my closing duties is to lock up the money from the cash drawer. In the morning, Jo unlocks it and puts it back. One morning she came in and the money was already out and the drawer was open. When I got into work later that afternoon, she gave me a lecture about how I need to make sure to lock everything, because it would be terrible if something were to get stolen.

Except, I had locked up the money. One of our other co-workers had unlocked it before Jo got in because they needed to use it for something. Jo and I may be the ones responsible for putting away or taking out the money, but everyone we work with knows where it's kept and how to get it if needed.

Since then, she's condescendingly told me she will take care of locking certain file cabinet drawers that have valuable information inside (even though I've locked them without fail for the last year) because she wants to make sure it's her responsibility if something were to get left out or lost. She also always asks me if I want her to back up the computers (one of my nightly duties) before she leaves (several hours before we close).

No matter how many times I tell her she doesn't need to do any of my jobs (as politely and nicely as possible) she always asks.

I know it's a ridiculous thing to get frustrated over, because she's probably just trying to be nice, but it just rubs me the wrong way. It always feels like she's asking me if she can do these things because she doesn't trust me to do them on my own. Even though I've worked here roughly nine months longer than she has.

Alright. Rant over. Are there any weird things that annoy you for no reason? Even though you know it's completely ridiculous that they do? I'd love to hear about it (it'd make me feel like less of a crazy person, for sure).

Also, please check out my new book review blog! I've got several reviews up (one is a review of an advance copy I won a few weeks ago!) and I'd love some feedback!

Celebrate!

Hey everyone!

So, yesterday was my two year anniversary with the boyfriend. I can't believe we've been together so long. It feels like we just met. It also feels like we've known each other forever. How crazy is that?

I feel pretty lucky. I am in love with a guy who loves me and respects me and does whatever he can to make me happy. We make an awesome team and, even though we have our fights, we always get through them and come out stronger than before.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the happiness with you all! I hope you're having an awesome fall and have fun and exciting things on the horizon!

Please take a second to check out my new book review blog (abbiereadsbooks.blogspot.com)! I just started and would really love some feedback and support over there! If you know anyone who likes to read, send them my way!

Thanks so much, friends. :)

Reality Strikes

Sometimes life leaves you speechless.

Recent events that have happened in close proximity to my life (but that I'm going to refrain from discussing out of sympathy for my boyfriend -- don't worry, we're both fine) have made me realize how precious life is. One day you can feel completely fine, and the next you could be diagnosed with some terrible disease or hit by a car or choke on something.

Pretty much, you never know what is going to happen next or when things are simply going to end.

I spend a lot of time worrying about things I have no control over. I stress out over what other people think of me and what I'm going to do after graduation or where I'm going to be in five years.

Instead of concentrating on the present, I freak out over the future. Which is ridiculous, because I can't control the future. I can't decide if someone is going to like me or not. I can't decide what business is going to hire me. I can try my best to influence these things, but I can't control them.

I also complain a lot. When things aren't going my way or I'm not feeling my best or I just feel cranky, I don't hesitate to spew negativity. I don't take a lot of time to appreciate how wonderful my life actually is. I am blessed to have an amazing boyfriend, a loving family and friends who care about me.

I'm lucky to be going to a great school and learning about a subject I love so that I can go into the field I want to go into after I graduate. I have three jobs, and I may not be rich, but I have enough money to afford the cost of living and still be able to buy little extras every once in a while.

I am talented in many things and smart in many areas and my life isn't terrible at all.

I think a lot of people are like me. We get so caught up in the little things that are going wrong that we fail to see all of the great things that are happening. So I hope you can all take a moment or two to appreciate your lives. Even in terrible times, there are good things.

(Sorry for the random and mildly melodramatic rant. It's been an emotional day or two. Also, thank you for sticking with me these past few years. I really appreciate the feedback I get from you all. It's amazing to know that anyone reads this at all. If you have a chance, please take a look at my new book review blog. I'd love some feedback on my posts there. Thanks HM Weasley for following! http://abbiereadsbooks.blogspot.com)

New Project!!!

Hello friends!

I just started a new project that I'm pretty excited for. My dream job is to be a book reviewer or a reader at a literary agency. It would be amazing to get paid to read. I can't think of anything better.

So, I started a second blog. Don't worry! I'll still update this one with my life stuff (hopefully I'll find more time to update it semi-frequentlly!!!), but now I'll also be blogging over at http://abbiereadsbooks.blogspot.com

Please, please, please check it out! Especially if you like reading! I've won a few advance copies of books on Goodreads in the last few weeks, so I'm hoping to get some reviews of those up ASAP! I also want to review newer books that come out. I really want to focus on a specific niche (like historical fiction or young adult), but right now I'm just gonna try to get the hang of reviewing before I narrow in on something.

If you have any recommendations for books I should read and review, please let me know! Or if you have any tips or advice for a review blog, I would love to hear it!

Things I Never Noticed

Location: Couch
Listening to: Once Upon A Time

So, do any of you remember that time when I decided I was going to become a big star on YouTube? And I made videos of myself reading entries from old diaries or just being a spazz or reviewing books?

I pretty much forgot about that. But this awesome girl I know named Taylor (check out her blog, she writes amazing stuff about her struggles with cancer and life and she's just incredible and pretty much my little sister) recently made the decision to start a vlog, so I decided to revisit my days as a vlogger.

And I discovered that one of my videos has over 9,000 views. (Probably because I talk about Harry Potter a lot and, as I've previously mentioned, Harry Potter = viewership/readership.)

This is incredible to me, because just about all of my other videos have gotten maybe a few hundred views in the two years they've been on the internet. I never thought that so many people would see something that I made. I mean, I don't know if any of them enjoyed it, but they all saw it.

I'm thinking about maybe starting up vlogging again. I don't know what I'll do or if I'll actually stick with it this time, but it might be kind of fun to keep doing book reviews and stuff. I read a lot, so it'd certainly be easy enough to come up with things to talk about.

What kinds of things would you like to see someone vlog about? Do you like watching videos that are just kind of silly and rambling, or do you prefer things that actually have a point? Let me know in the comments!

New Layout, New Year

Location: Work
Listening to: That sound copy machines make when they're on but not being used for anything

Well, guys, it's official. I suck at blogging.

I could make all the excuses about being soooo so so busy or not having anything to write about or my dog eating my laptop, but the fact is, none of those would be true.

If you haven't noticed, this is my first new post since July. I have had plenty of free time to write. I honestly wasn't really doing much of anything besides work and my internship this summer, so I definitely could have found a few minutes here or there to squeeze in a new post.

Honestly, I just kind of forgot about blogging. A lot of the people who inspired me to blog and who were really active when I first got started a few years back aren't posting as often. It seems like people aren't reading as often or commenting as often. And I know I shouldn't be doing this just so people will read my stuff and comment, but honestly, that's one of the most fun parts of having a blog.

Don't worry, internet. I'm not breaking up with you. I just think our relationship needs a little bid of adjusting. I am no longer the 18-year-old girl trying to finish out her last semester of high school (and dealing with everything that goes along with graduating) that I was when I began this blog.

I turn 21 in two weeks. I graduate from college in a little over one year. Soon I'll be thinking about full time jobs and eventually getting married and all of those other grown-up things you think about post-college.

I'm not quite there yet, though. But I'm at a spot where I don't really know what I want this blog to be for anymore. I'm not interesting enough to use it as a diary. I don't think anyone would read that. Every post would be, "Today I woke up and went to work, then went to class, then went back to my apartment and hung out with my boyfriend's cats until he woke up to go to work."

I don't do anything crafty or neat. I wish I did. I really want to sew and make clothes and projects, but I lack the necessary tools and the time needed for such a hobby.

I really want to learn a musical instrument and maybe start YouTube-ing again with some song covers or such (like 90% of people on YouTube), but I don't really have the time for that either. Or the patience. I want to just instantly know how to play the guitar like a pro and just be able to do whatever I want.

One thing I might do is use this as practice for saying what I think. I just got hired as the Opinion Editor for my campus newspaper, so I'm in charge of writing the editorial every week. If you're not familiar with editorials, they are articles that express the opinion of the newspaper staff (or specific staff members) on a topic. For instance, the first editorial I will be writing is about how easy it is to educate yourself before voting and why students need to educate themselves before going to the polls.

I'm kind of bad at speaking my mind, though. I never used to be. I guess I changed. But sometime between high school and now, I got kind of shy and I don't speak up when I need to. I'm hoping this newspaper position helps with that. But maybe this blog could help me out, too.

The new layout is a product of this quest to find a niche. I loved my old one, but it was starting to feel a little childish. I'm pretty happy with the outcome. I think this new one looks more grown-up, but still like me.

Have you ever gone through a blogging identity crisis? How did you get through it? Did you end up making a big change? Do you have any thoughts or suggestions for things I can do with my blog instead of just jabbering about my day? Any ideas are hugely appreciated! Leave them in the comments!

Summer Bucket List

Location: Couch
Watching: Once Upon A Time


So, this summer has probably been the least exciting one in my life. I've spent the past three months working, interning, and taking a class. My lovely boyfriend got an exciting new job, which is great, but sadly he works a weird schedule now that means we never are free at the same time. The most interesting thing I've done is watch the local 4th of July Beauty Pageant with one of my friends. When I'm not working, I'm usually just sitting on the couch watching TV or reading or doing crosswords.

Pretty much, I need to make myself have some fun and get out of the house. So I'm making myself a summer bucket list. There's really only a month and a half left of summer break for me, but I hope I'll get a chance to do at least some of these things!

1.) Go to an amusement park. This is one of the most summer-y activities that I can think of. Being outside in the sun, going on crazy rides, and eating terrible food.

2.) Take a trip out of state. So many people I know have great internships in Chicago or are working at summer camps on the East coast or are vacationing in Florida or California. I don't care where I go, but I do want to get out of the state for at least a little while.

3.) Go camping. This one I know I'm going to be able to cross off. My family used to go camping every summer, but that tradition kind of fell apart once all of us kids were off at college. This year, though, we made reservations for my mom's birthday. I'm excited.

4.) Go to a beach. This probably goes along with the camping one. If not, there's a great beach near where I live that I bet I could drag my friends to.

5.) Go stargazing. Especially if there is a good meteor shower. There is nothing more relaxing than sitting under the night sky and staring at the stars. I love it.

6.) Have a cookout. I'm not sure how this will work since I live at an apartment and do not have access to a grill. And most of my friends are not in town for the summer. But I am determined!

7.) Attend a concert. I've never been to a big concert of a famous band. I saw the band Frickin A when I was in sixth grade (they had one song that was on the radio for a while, and then I think they fell off the face of the earth) and I saw the band Quietdrive on campus freshman year. But I've never gone to a cool venue and seen a band I love surrounded by tons of other people who love the same band. I want to do that.

8.) Attend a fair. I just like fairs. I like walking through the barns and looking at the cows and horses and pigs. I like walking through the vendors and seeing what is getting sold for extreme prices. I like the fairway food and the impossible games. It's just fun.

9.) Go to a drive-in movie. There used to be a drive-in where I grew up, but it was only around for a year or two before it got torn down. But luckily there's one near where I live now!

10.) Take a road trip. Self-explanatory. I think this is a mandatory college summer experience.

11.) Visit a museum. Because museums are always cool. Especially if it is a natural history museum.

12.) Visit a zoo. ANIMALS ARE COOL.

13.) Visit a weird landmark. Once, I saw the world's third largest loon. And I've seen the world's largest penny. I want to find something else odd to see.

14.) Travel out of the country. So many people I know have gone to Europe this summer. I get irrationally jealous, since I was supposed to go to Ireland earlier this summer, but the Financial Aid office crushed my dreams. I feel like my life will not be complete until I get there. I doubt it will happen this summer, but I may be able to squeeze in a trip to Canada!

That's all I have right now. Do you guys have anything I should add? What cool things have you done over the summers of your life?

I understand where the word "intern" comes from now...

Location: Couch
Listening to: Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You from The Last Five Years


So, as I mentioned in my last post, I've been interning this summer. I'm working for a set of aviation-oriented business magazines. One deals with maintenance, one with ground support, and one with airports.

I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not a huge fan of it. So far my main task has been going through old issues of the magazines and tagging articles online so that they show up in search engines. Which involves a lot of aviation terminology.

Here's a secret: I don't know anything about aviation. I'm not interested in aviation. I have been on a plane one time in my entire life.

I've done a few other things, like editing press releases and proofing copy for stories. I've sat in on some planning meetings and I've been promised that I will get the change to write something at some point. I kind of doubt that will happen, because that's just the way things are going at the moment. Normally I'm there for five hours a day, four days a week. Usually they give me about one hour's worth of work, so I spend roughly four hours doing nothing.

And not getting paid for it.

You know how some people equate college internships to slave labor? I think they're wrong. I think college internships (or, some, at least) are more like indentured servitude. I had to pay upwards of $900 to be able to get credit towards graduating for this internship that is not paying me and making me do the work no one else wants to do. I will be free eventually, I just have to work off my debt first. Which kind of feels like it will never happen.

I know this semi-job is giving me some sort of experience that might help me in the future and it will look great on my resume. But I wish I could be done. I kind of just want to spend summer being  a lazy bum. It would be optimal if someone would pay me to be a lazy bum.

Siiigghhhh. I can dream....

(Also, in reference to the title of this post, I now believe that "intern" comes from the word "internment" which I think means something like "You are forced to be somewhere and work for free". But I'm not a dictionary. So I could be wrong. :D)

Time Flies

Location: The Couch
Listening to: The Colbert Report

I feel old.

Today I am feeling kind of nostalgic. I was thinking earlier about how long it's been since I was last in a theater production (about 3 years) and then how long it's been since I first got involved in theater (at least 8 years). My life used to revolve around theater. In high school, I was involved in at least one production each year (usually I participated in several shows each year). It was a huge part of my life and how I met most of my friends.

That made me think about how long it's been since I've talked to some of my best friends from high school. The person who I consider to be my best friend in my last years of high school and I haven't talked in over a year. We started drifting apart a little during our senior year when I was in and out of school with my mysterious medical condition (which ended up just being anxiety). We haven't really reconnected, but I hope we will. I miss her.

I really only regularly talk to one of my friends from high school, and she and I have been friends since 6th grade. I occasionally talk to a few other friends and see them sometimes when I go home, but I'm starting to feel like I don't have connections with them. Which is sad. I have a hard time letting go of friends, even when it's clear there isn't anything to hold onto anymore.

The summer between my junior and senior years, I kind of dated one of my friend's exboyfriends. Things ended dramatically and caused a lot of craziness. Today, in my fit of nostalgia, I looked back at some messages sent and received during that time between me and this guy, and none of it made sense. In one particular message, he's trying to make me see reason and forgive him, and he's citing all these examples of things that happened and how I knew him better than anyone, and none of it made sense. I couldn't remember any of the things he was talking about. It shocked me, because it felt like the biggest deal at the time, and now I can't even remember the details.

In four months, I turn 21. It's really the last big age-related milestone until I turn 40. I feel both very young and so old at the same time. I have about a year and a half left of college and then I'll be out looking for a grown up job. A lot of people I know and graduated with are getting married and having babies.

I feel like I'm caught between adolescence and adulthood. Which I guess I kind of am.

(I'm really sorry for not posting for the last two months, everybody. I've been so busy with finals and then  moving into my new apartment and starting my internship and life has been kind of hectic. I promise I'm going to try to update more!)

Big Smiles

This week has been awesome. For a lot of reasons. I'm going to sum them up via bullet points for y'all.

-I found out I won a $1000 scholarship. With this scholarship comes the new responsibility of being one of the students who goes out and promotes our communication department to high schools, visiting students, and random other people/events. I'm really excited about this, because I love our comm department and it'll be a great experience for my resume.

-I noticed that the workout regime Brad started and I've gone along with is starting to have some positive affects on me. I'm looking more toned and I no longer lose my breath when I have to walk up four flights of stairs to get to work.

-Someone offered to pay me $250 for the rights to a not-so-great story I wrote 5+ years ago when I was in love with the Twilight series. (I quickly saw through this sham - when I asked a few questions, the person who claimed to be an independent publisher pretty much told me they were going to self-publish it on Amazon with their name on it instead of mine - but it's still flattering!)

-I found out I won another $500 scholarship, just because.

-Because of all of these scholarships and my financial aid, I am now going to have no problem paying for tuition and rent next year (knock on wood).

-Brad just surprised me by bringing home a Zumba game for the Wii that I really wanted and am extremely excited to try out.

I hope your weeks have been as good as mine!

Dying of laughter

Let me tell you a story:

When I was a sophomore in high school about 5 years ago, I rather enjoyed the Twilight series. I'm not proud of that now, but at the time I felt I could totally relate to Bella and that Edward was the perfect man.* I loved that it was a human/vampire romance and I thought that was so unique and interesting.

So, I wrote a story called Once Bitten, Twice Shy about a bartender named Faith who falls in love with mysterious motorcyclist while some equally mysterious murders are happening in their town. Long story short, the motorcyclist is a werewolf and the murders are being committed by his crazy werewolf brother. It ends tragically.

Now, remember, I wrote this story at least 5 years ago. I posted it on a website called Fiction Press where I also shared a lot of my other writings (you can find them through the writing tab up top). People occasionally still comment on it, and it's usually pretty flattering, which I find ridiculous because I'm pretty sure it isn't that great.

Today, I got a message through this website from someone claiming to be an independent publisher who wants to pay me $250 for the rights to my story.

I'm dying of laughter. I asked for their credentials for two reasons. One, I am curious if they are for real. Two, if they are, I am super curious what other things they publish if they want to publish a mostly-crap, Twilight-inspired raving by a 15 year old girl.

I have to leave for my Creative Writing class now (ironic, right?) but I'll keep you updated!

*For the record, I have since outgrown these thoughts. Don't judge me.

Dear Guilianna and Bill

Dear Giuliana and Bill,

I am oddly into your show. I've never really liked reality shows, especially the ones that just follow a famous family/couple/person, because I never really got the point. But you two are just so cute, and your attempts to have a baby are so sad and endearing.

And now Giuliana has breast cancer. WTF guys. That is maybe the saddest thing ever. Except, you won't let me properly empathize because you never show the episode where she finds out she has cancer when I can watch the whole thing!!! It's extremely frustrating. I mean, it's nothing compared to having cancer, but I need to know how this ends! Does it have a positive message (I'm sure it does, I've seen enough of it that I know you try to use this as an opportunity to educate other people)?

Please air this episode at a time when I can view it in its entirety. So, pretty much any time not between 9 a.m. and noon. Which is when you always want to show it. And then I always have to leave for class before it's done.

Grrrrrrr.

Sincerely,
An unlikely fan.

New hurrrrrrr

Poop. I already failed BEDA. But it was a worthwhile reason. I am home right now for the first time since early March/late February. I just got back from hanging out with some friends who I haven't seen since probably August. It was nice catching up with them.

Remember yesterday how I told you I was giving a stranger a ride home with me?

Well, it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it was going to be. At least, not in the way I thought it was going to be. She and I ended up talking the whole 3 hour ride back. And we talked about really personal stuff (like people we know getting pregnant and relationships we've had and friend problems and all kinds of stuff). It was kind of weird. I've never been one of those people who just tells their life story to someone (well, ok, I guess that's kind of what I'm doing now, but this is different!) I have no clue why I was so open with this girl who I don't even know. I don't even think she and I will be great friends or anything after this.

Isn't it interesting how sometimes it's just so easy to open up to someone you don't even know? What is it that makes us trust strangers so much? Why do we feel so comfortable revealing so much about ourselves?

It makes you think.

(Also, I got a haircut. My friend, who is now a hair stylist, cut it for me. It looks grand. I love it. She's a pro.)

Shhh!! It's a real post!! Don't scare it away!!!

Holy crap, guys. I'm actually writing a post. Because, even though it feels like nothing has happened to me lately, I've actually been up to a lot. So, here's a recap of my life lately:

-I had the most boring spring break in the whole world. I stayed on campus so I could work and stuff because I'm planning on going home tomorrow for Easter. But the thing is, when you go to a small school in a small town and everyone is gone for spring break, there is literally NOTHING to do. The only stores we have are a Walmart and a grocery store. The closest thing resembling a city is half an hour away and I had no one to go bum around with, anyway, because my boyfriend works at a real job now and can't just be a lazy bum with me. But I guess it was still a break from school. That part was pretty nice.

-I've started working out and eating better. I gained some weight this year and I'm right on the boarder of healthy and not. So I'm trying to get better. I already feel really great just from the few changes I've made. It's really nice.

-Brad's kitten lost a tooth on me just a few minutes ago. It was really weird.

-I'm really excited for my internship this summer. I get to write, edit, interview, proofread, and do design stuff for these business magazines about the airline industry. Not what I ever imagined writing about, but I'm sure it'll be really interesting. I am going to be such a busy bee. I work my internship four days a week, my job five days a week, and I'm taking a three week class from the middle of June to the beginning of July. I really hope I'll be able to balance everything alright.

-I am going home tomorrow and I get to see some of my best friends while I'm there and I haven't seen most of them in forever (like, since August) so I'm pretty much the most excited kid ever.

-I am also giving a stranger a ride up to my town. I posted a thing on our campus ride board saying where I was going and when and I guess a girl needed a ride. I've never done this before, and I'm afraid it's going to be super awkward and weird and we'll either feel like we have to talk the whole time or we'll sit in awkward silence the whole time. And it's a 3 hour drive. That's kind of long.

I'm sure you'll be hearing about that when I post tomorrow, though! So I'll leave it at that for now!!

Crappiest BEDA Poster Ever Award

You guys. I am really sorry, but I am going to have to write another cop out post today. I just did 30 minutes of plyometrics (crazy jumping exercises) and I am dead.

It's ok, though. I made myself that award up there.

I promise. PROMISE. That I will write a legitimate post tomorrow. I PROMISE. And if I don't, you can hate me forever. Deal? Deal. Ok. Bye.

Hold your horses!

Guys! Guys! Don't even worry. Tomorrow I really am going to write a real post. I promise. For today, though, I am just going to leave you with some adorable pictures of Brad's kitten, Gus. I think you'll forgive me when you see them.

BEDA...oh geeze

You guys. It's April again. You know what that means!!!

BEDA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't tell if I'm excited or full of dread at the prospect of blogging every day. I have a few ideas for things to do, but my April is already going to be super busy and I don't know if I'll have time to post every day. But I sure as heck am going to try!!!

This is it for today, though. I have some garlic chicken spring rolls in the microwave calling my name, and it is almost my turn to play Lego Harry Potter Years 5-7. Because I have the video gaming talent of an 8-year-old.

So, you will be seeing me again tomorrow!! I look forward to seeing everyone else's BEDA posts!

Success!!!!!

Location: Brad's couch
Listening to: TV commercials

YOU GUYS. This week has been SO GOOD. Earlier this week I had an interview for a summer internship with a company that publishes trade magazines (which are magazines aimed at very specific business areas, like landscapers or kitchen and bath designers or airport workers). I talked to three editors for their three different aeronautics magazines and things went pretty well.

AND I GOT HIRED.

So this summer I'll be writing features for them and helping with editing and layout stuff, which is exactly what I want to do after I graduate. I was a little intimidated at first, because I know absolutely nothing about airplanes, but I was quickly assured that I really wouldn't have to deal with the technical aspects of that stuff. Phew!!!

They're a pretty well known company in the business magazine trade, so this will look great on my resume and I'm really, really super extra excited.

To make things even better, Brad and I signed a lease for an apartment for this next year together! We'll be living in the town where my college is, and he will continue to commute to his fancy full-time grown up job (I don't know if I mentioned this, but he graduated in December and is now a producer for the nightly news at a TV station about an hour away from here.)

So I officially have a place to live. With my boyfriend. Close to my school. And my job. And my internship. Where I will get to have daily interaction with Brad's adorable kitten, Gus. And I will be able to keep all my things and have my own room and live happily ever after the end.

It's pretty awesome.

I hope you all are having an awesome week! I'm going to be posting soon with my tips on HOW TO GET AN INTERNSHIP (because now that I got one, I consider myself an expert. That's not conceited at all, right?)

 More soon!!!

Hunting

Location: Brad's Couch
Listening to: Full House

Oh, early March. The most stressful time of the year for college kids trying to get internships and find apartments. Both of which I am attempting to do right now.

I just recently finished applying for about sixty internships* and now I'm doing that fun thing where you wait to hear if anyone is interested in having you work for them. I have one interview so far, which is really exciting, but I'm really curious if anyone else is gonna want to talk to me. I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself, because I feel like I'm behind the curve on extracurriculars and real-world experience. I only have a year and a half left after this one, so I feel like I need to cram in as much stuff as I can to make myself appealing to places after I graduate.

And then there is the apartment search. I've never had to look for a place to live before, but I am desperate to get out of the dorms. So I've been looking into apartments in town and near-by. I keep worrying that I'm not going to be able to budget myself and save up enough to pay month-to-month rent payments. I hate living paycheck to paycheck. It stresses me out so much. I'm just worried that I won't know how to budget stuff or how much utilities cost or any of that stuff.

Agghgghghghgh.

Anyway, I am in the business of hunting right now. I'll let you know if I get anything good.

Do you have any tips for finding internships or apartments? I'd appreciate either!

*That's an exaggeration. It was really only about twenty.

Busy as a bee

Location: Brad's couch
Listening to: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory


Why, hello there!! Glad to see you haven't abandoned me even though I have been kind of terrible at updating. I'm looking forward to/dreading BEDA, because I really want to get back into a regular blogging groove, but I feel like I am too busy to be able to!

I just started a new job doing office work at a car dealership. This is not a job I ever, EVER expected to have. I always thought of car dealerships as shady, crusty places inhabited by greasy-haired men intent on pawning crappy cars off on innocent customers.

This is nothing like that. It's a friendly, small place and all I do is file things and then work on my homework. Which is great, because I get a decent number of hours and I get paid a dollar more than I do at my other job. So I can begin to save up for an apartment and a new laptop.*

My classes are pretty awesome and very low-stress, which I love. I talk a lot in class, which isn't something I've done a lot so far at college. I like it. I'm trying to come out of my shell more and make more friends so when I look back on my college years I can have some fond memories of things I did with people other than my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong! I love hanging out with Brad all the time, but I don't want to be one of those people whose only friend is their significant other.

I am currently in the process of applying for internships for the summer. So far I've got two applications sent out and a third in the works. I really hope one of them pans out, because I really need the experience to beef up my resume. And I really want to know what it's like to work at a real newspaper or PR firm or publishing house.

So, as you can see, my life has been pretty hectic. I hope you all are having a good year so far! What have you been up to? Done anything exciting or interesting? I'm thinking I might go skydiving and zip lining this spring. So we'll see if I ever get the guts to do either of them!

*The new laptop is especially important. Brad's kitten keeps prying the keys off of mine and hiding the places/eating them. It's kind of an issue.

Goal time!

Location: Brad's couch
Listening to: Television

Hey everyone! It's been a while since I last wrote, so I'm gonna take a page out of Allyson's book and list-summarize my thoughts and current events. Ok? Ok. GO!

This semester I...am really excited to get back into writing creatively. I haven't done that type of thing since my senior year of high school, and I miss it.

This semester I...am finding myself becoming weirdly addicted to Toddlers and Tiaras. It's so horrible and amazing at the same time. Like watching a train wreck.

This semester I...am planning to join two new clubs and actually attend the meetings.

This semester I...am planning to lose at least 15 lbs. I really want to get healthy and tone up a little bit, so I'm hitting the gym and watching what I eat!
This semester I...am starting a new job as an office assistant at a car dealership. It's already one of the best jobs ever. The work is easy, the people are friendly, and they buy you lunch on Saturdays. Plus I got a free jacket.

This semester I...need to be more patient and less emotional.
This semester I...need to not wait until the last minute to get things done.
This semester I...need to apply for internships so hopefully I can do something productive over the summer.

This semester I...need to start saving up to get an apartment this summer/next year!!

This semester I...need to teach myself how to budget my money instead of spending it mindlessly.

This semester I...want to spend more time outside and less time on my laptop.

This semester I...want to make a new friend or two.

This semester I...want to be as stress-free as possible.

This semester I...want to be less of a pushover and more of an assertive lady.

This semester I...want to get a 4.0 GPA, and I think I can do it.

This semester I...want to redesign my blog. Any ideas?

That's pretty much my life right now! Everything is going pretty nicely at the moment. I don't have a thing to complain about! I hope you're all having a good new year so far, and I promise I'm going to start posting more reliably!!

A Favor

Location: Brad's couch

Listening to: The Notebook

So, I've officially finished my first week of classes for this semester. So far they all seem pretty good, with one possible exception. I'll detail them for you guys, just in case you are curious:

1.) Publication Editing: Pretty self explanitory. It's a class about learning how to edit things people write. Which I love to do, and I love the professor (he reminds me of my friend Zach in a lot of ways) and the class only has 10 people in it, which is great. So this one is probably gonna be pretty awesome.

2.) Lit for Adolescents: We read Young Adult fiction and get credit for it. Some of the books we're reading include The Giver, The Book Thief, The Hunger Games, Hatchet, and some other greats. The professor is new and she is super sweet and I already love the class.

3.) Media Ethics: I have this class one night a week for about three hours. The professor is from Kenya, which is pretty interesting, and it might as well be a philosophy class, because that's pretty much what ethics is - philosophy. I think it'll be pretty interesting class. It's all about what situations are and aren't ethical in reporting for the media and stuff.

4.) Intro to Human Communication: This is a required class that everyone has to take. Most professors teach it as a public speaking class. I'm not really sure how mine is teaching it, but I think she doesn't emphasize the speeches as much as other professors. Which is pretty nice. I took speech in high school, so I didn't really want to take this, but I didn't get much of a choice.

And last but not least...

5.) Creative Writing: This is the one that I'm a little skeptical on. I used to do a ton of creative writing in my spare time. My friend Lindsey and I would collaborate and help each other and bounce ideas around and stuff. And I took a really great creative writing class in high school. So I was really excited for this.

Except, the professor is new. She's probably in her late 20's and has kind of a hipster view on writing, where  she finds obscure things terrific and main stream things terrible. She seems nice enough, but she's structured the class in kind of a weird way.

We have three different units: Fiction, Creative Nonfiction, and Poetry. At the end of the semester, we have to turn in a portfolio with one short story, one creative nonfiction piece, and 5-8 poems. We get to assign the weight each piece has on our total portfolio grade, and the choices are 35%, 20%, and 10%.

The trick is, the piece(s) that you give the highest influence on your grade you have to submit to a workshop, where the class all gets to read it and give you feedback and critique and stuff.

Which is fine. Except, she hasn't told us when anything is due if you aren't work-shopping for a unit. And she hasn't given us any ideas of what she'll be looking for when she grades our stuff. Which is confusing and frustrating to me, because I like to know my guidelines before I start writing something.

AAANNNNDDD you have to pick what unit you want to workshop for before you even write anything. Which is kind of bogus if you ask me, because I would rather wait until after I've written something to decide if I want to workshop it.

AAAAANNNNNNDDDDDD she doesn't actually teach us about different styles of writing. So far, we have read a few short stories (Fiction is our first unit) and she's pointed out some devices that were used in each, but she hasn't really taught us about the different styles of writing or different plot devices or anything.

Which is kind of lame. Because I'm in this class to learn stuff. And I'm not really learning anything (although, it has only been two classes...).

ANYWAY, I have a favor to ask you guys. I have to write a short story that is 8-25 pages. I like to write realistic fiction, but I have no clue what I want to write about. 

So, I was wondering if you guys wanted to help me out and write the end of my story before I write the rest of it. Just a few sentences that seem kind of conclude-y, and then I'll figure out who my characters are and how to get them to that point.

An example: my friend Lindsey did this for me once, and this is what she gave me:

""It's only the beginning," I whispered to myself, turning away from his lifeless form, a tear sliding down my cheek. "Death is only the beginning.""

So I wrote kind of a ridiculous (but surprisingly popular) story about a girl who falls in love with a guy who is secretly a werewolf (it's way better than it sounds, I think, but I wrote it when I was 15, so I'm not gonna make you any promises) and has to fight crime and stuff because all these murders are happening.

So.

If you want to help me out and give me a final sentence or two, that would be awesome. It doesn't have to be deep or profound or meaningful. Just something that sounds like a good ending. And then when I'm done with the story, maybe I'll share it with you. :)

More later,

Me.

KITTENS

Location: Brad's couch

Listening to: Mad Fashion

You guys. Sorry I suck at this lately. I honestly just haven't been having that many great ideas for things to write about, or if I do, I try to write something but it just doesn't work out.

I hope you all had good holidays. I had a nice Christmas hanging out with my family. I got to see my friends a lot, which was nice. Sometimes I get really nostalgic for high school. Or, at least, for specific events or times in high school. This gets especially bad when I'm home and I realize the people who did those things or were there for those times with me are not really people I talk to much any more. I have a few high school friends who I keep in contact with. The rest kind of fell off the map. Which is also really, really apparent when we're all home for break.

I'm actually back at school now. Classes start next Tuesday (we start way earlier than most non-private colleges, for some reason), and I am kitten sitting for Brad's new kitten. The one in that adorable picture up there. He's a cutie. His name is Gus (short for Augustus), and he thinks he is a puppy.

I hope this pitiful excuse for a blog post is good enough for now. I really can't think of anything riveting to say

More later!