Things To Make You Love Me

Location: Couch
Listening to: Jimmy Kimmel
Days til College: 28
Followers: 16!!!


Hello, folks. Just got done updating another installment of Abbie Reads From Her Diary. I kind of love YouTube. I actually got comments today. It was the coolest. The commenter said I look like Ione Sky, so obviously I was happy. Because Ione Sky is gorgeous and I'm pretty sure I don't really look like her, but I'm still extremely flattered. Especially because SOMEONE WATCHED AND COMMENTED ON MY VIDEOS!!

Anyway, I'd like to welcome Lex to my slowly-but-surely increasing number of followers. She left a comment on my last post saying "Hi. I think I like you." Well, Lex, I'm gonna make you love me. Here's how: I am going to write a list of the top 10 Most Loveable Things About Me right now, and if you don't find at least half of them loveable, you are allowed to just go on thinking you like me. Ok? Ok.

10 Things That Make Me Loveable

1.) I really enjoy baby animals. Like kittens and puppies. But, unlike a lot of saps who are like "OMGBABYANIMALS!" I also like the grown up versions of animals. Even the kind that aren't inherently fluffy and adorable. 

2.) I just discovered the joys of Nutella. And if you haven't tried it (and you aren't allergic to hazelnuts), feel free to give me an address and I will personally mail you some. Because it is fantastic. Like heaven inside of your mouth.

3.) I'm still a little bit lost with the whole Nerdfighter concept, but I think I like it. I know I like John Green.

4.) Acoustic music is beautiful and magnificent. I like how it has a soul of its own. Like it's alive.

5.) I geek out to everything Harry Potter. I just went to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice and the whole time I kept making HP references.

6.) My outlet is making things. Blog posts, videos, blankets made of old t-shirts, scarves, custom-decorated clothing, etc.

7.) I pretend to be athletic. I do about five yoga poses every once in a while and have ridden my bike exactly once this summer. I'm a binge athlete. Sometimes, I just really, really, really want to work out. So I'll work out hardcore for, like, fifteen minutes. And then never again for the next three months.

8.) I enjoy going to stores and picking out the ugliest outfits to try on. Or suggest other people try on. It makes me smile.

9.) One of the things I'm most excited about for college is decorating my room. And meeting boys.

10.) I just ate half a can of cashews.

Awww. How cute am I? Like a little fluffy squirrel. One who is kind of awkward and should probably start editing this new video and uploading it. Right? Right.

Goodnight, Internet. Sleep well.

Whaaaatttt???

Location: The couch.
Listening to: The David Letterman Show
Days til College: 31
Followers: 15!!


Somehow, I have attracted another follower? That's super cool! Welcome, Mina! (I hope you're the newest one, because I've kinda lost track of those who don't often comment and I'd feel really stupid if you've been following for a while and someone else is the newbie...)

I decided today that I'm going to start a Vlog. Yes, YouTubing. Hopefully it'll be kinda fun. I decided to read bits of my old diaries. And kind of make fun of my younger self. I'm debating whether to go in chronological order, or to just pick pages at random to read and then go for it and maybe explain things that don't make a lot of sense. Thoughts on this?

I get more and more excited for college by the day. Every time I go out, I want to buy things for college or talk to people about college or meet people from college (which is hard since my college is really far away and I only know two people going there).

I still haven't resolved either of my boy issues. Although, two guys from my future college have added me on Facebook, so adding the one guy who's going to school with me is seeming more and more acceptable. I'm still not sure, though. I'd rather meet him in person, but I'm really impatient.

So, um, yeah. Check out my YouTube channel (http://www.youtube.com/user/ChronicIrony7). The first installment of "Abbie Reads From Her Diary" should be up sometime tonight. Hopefully. If all goes well. (I probably just jinxed it...)

But yeah. Goodnight, Internet.

Are you there, Internet? It's me, Abbie.

Location: Couch
Listening to: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Days til College: 36


So, I was just sitting here right now, trying to beat Year 2 of Lego Harry Potter on my Wii (I got to the part where Harry gets sucked into Tom Riddle's diary and I was attempting to figure out how to get out of the flashback-y thing) when my Wii remote died. The batteries were all used up. I got up to switch to the other remote when I remembered I took the batteries out the other week because our TV remote was dead. At the time, I figured that I don't use the Wii enough that I'd have to worry about mid-game remote switching. Well, I have one thing to say to that now:

Damn you, past self.

Anyway, as you may have noticed by the decreased college arrival time, I got into that 3 day leadership workshop thing I applied for. I'm super excited! Now I get to move in early, meet people so I actually have friends and don't have to go through as much of an awkward adjustment, and get to know my way around campus before my fellow Freshmen get there. WIN!

Other than that, this week has been kind of dull. I've been hanging out with people more, which is nice. My friends really don't suck as much as I made them out to the other week. I think I was just really cranky. And I think I'm psychologically trying to distance myself from them so I don't miss them too much in college. Whatever. But I've actually had things to do this week. The weather was gorgeous today, but it's getting humid now. And my carpet feels warm. I don't like it.

Where have you guys been, lately? Cal is the only one who's been commenting, and that makes me sad. I miss you all! So, I think I'm going to refuse to post again until I get more comments. Yes, I know, lame. But it's just so much more fun to write when I know you guys are reading and responding. (Plus, it will probably take me a few days to come up with anything worthwhile to write about. Life moves pretty slowly these days.)

So, I'll leave you with this video. See if you can guess what it is:

Nostalgia

Location: Couch
Listening to: Cop Out
Days til College: 40/43


Not much is happening. I'm still waiting to hear back about that leadership thing I might be a part of, I haven't made a decision either way involving either of my boy situations (I'm waiting for more feedback from you guys), and I haven't done anything entertaining.

I did somehow manage to break the little mouse button thing on my laptop. Not the mouse pad thing, but the little tracker button thing that's in the middle of the keyboard that you can use as a mouse. Which makes me sad, because I like that a lot better than the touch pad.

I don't really have anything to report. So I'm going to leave you with this video instead. My friend Lindsey made it my Junior year after our school put on Thorton Wilder's "Our Town". I was Emily Webb (the lead). This makes me miss that so much. It's probably my favorite high school memory.

Almost Everything I Wish I'd Said The Last Time I Saw You

Location: The couch
Listening to: Commercials
Days til College: 42/45


Today has been pretty much the most eventful ever. I just don't even know. Wow. Ok. So. I'll start with last night, because last night was good.

One of our area community theater companies started this dance troupe the other year. They put on a show every summer about teen issues. Last year's theme was about how our (well, my) generation still has a voice. This year, they used that voice to help raise awareness about things like teen suicide. It was sooo intense. They have a live band performing the music, and they put together a bunch of popular songs by different bands to make a story. This year, the story was about a boy named Mike who's dad abuses his mom. He's in love with his best friend, Kelly, but she's also dating an abusive guy. His friend Kelson's girlfriend has just been diagnosed with cancer, and his other friend is getting into drugs. His sister cuts herself. At the end of Act 1, he commits suicide. In Act 2, he has to witness the consequences of his actions and watch his friends and family deal with his death.

It was so emotional. Especially because as transitions, they had one of the actors/dancers step up between almost every number and explain one of the steps to suicide prevention, then give a short monologue about how the wish they would've/could've helped Mike with his problems. It really hit me hard because the summer after my freshman year, I had to talk one of my best friends down from suicide. It was the scariest thing ever, but I succeeded in making him think twice and realize that no problem was worth killing himself over. So he's still here. But he was in the show, so I bawled my eyes out almost the entire time.

Also, one of the songs for the character who had cancer was Skin by Rascal Flats. And the girl who sang it in the band is one of my friend's little sisters. She was diagnosed with leukemia in January, and just recently found out they have contained her cancer so it's not getting any worse, which is the best she could hope for. She has a gorgeous voice, and seeing her sing that song (which is beautiful and sad) made me teary.

I keep getting teary just thinking about it.

Also, last night I bought a CD by a band I'd never heard of because the title sounded pretty. The band is Wakey!Wakey! The CD was Almost Everything I Wish I'd Said The Last Time I Saw You. The music is gorgeous, so it was definitely one of my better impulse buys. Plus it was only $10.00. Win!

Today I went college shopping with my mom. We got just about everything, so I'm pretty much set. So excited. :)

This morning I got an e-mail offering me a spot in a leadership workshop 3 days before move in at school. If I get accepted, I get to move in early and do all kinds of leadership developing things. I really hope I get in. It'd be really nice to get to know some people and the campus and move in early. I'll be all settled by the time everyone else gets there.

This afternoon, I was running some errands for my mom. I had to stop and pick up dog treats and then go scout prices for a laptop bag. While I was in town, I decided to stop at a local bike store to look at bike baskets that I could use for next year. While there, I met this incredibly awesome guy. He's my age, really cute, and funny. We talked a lot about college and joked around and he helped me find a couple of options for things I could get for next year. It turns out he just graduated, too, from the other district in our area. We were pretty flirty, and I nearly asked for his number, but I chickened out.

Good thing, too, because I got home and looked him up on Facebook (I figured he must be friends with someone I know, and I was right) and it turns out he has a girlfriend.

So now not only am I debating the merit of adding that boy from the last post as a friend, but now I'm debating adding this guy who I've actually met.

Pros:
-Extremely nice, so probably wouldn't be a jerk about it
-Has a good sense of humor
-Seems like a friendly guy, could be a good friend

Cons:
-He has a girlfriend
-I've only met him the one time, and we introduced ourselves to each other, but it could still be weird/awkward.

Ack. I need you guys to help me decide. About the other guy, too. I'm blinded by my impatience and extreme want of a close guy friend. I need outside opinions.

Kthxbai.

Things To Do When Your Power Goes Out

Location: The couch
Listening to: Anastasia. 
Days til College: 47


Today was crazy! You know when it rains really hard and people go, "It's raining cats and dogs!" or "It's raining buckets!" (which, personally, I find harder to believe than raining cats and dogs. Because the cats and dogs thing came from when people still had thatched roofs and animals would take shelter in the dry vegetation of the roof and when it rained it would get slippery and they would fall out of the roof, making it look like it was raining cats and dogs...and other animals. But when have buckets ever come falling from the sky? Hmmm????)?

Well, today it came close to doing both. It started storming around 1:30 this afternoon. One second it was a little bit cloudy and insanely humid out (and we all know how I just looovvveee humidity), the next these crazy black clouds were rolling in. There were huge lightning bolts shooting across the sky and rain was falling in sheets. Our power ended up going out around 2 and it was still out when I left for work a little before 4.

So it stormed off and on throughout the night. It still is storming. It's kind of cool.

I finished reading Love is a Mixtape. It was just as wonderful/beautiful/amusing as it started. Definitely a great read. I'd reccommend it to anybody who likes music and love stories.

Also, I discovered this guy who's going to college with me next year. He's pretty cute and he's majoring in journalism like I am and he seems like he'd be pretty cool. I found him by going through the people who are going to my college next year on Facebook and I'm debating the merit of adding him as a friend before we meet.

Pros:
-I could make a friend even before I get to school.
-He could potentially be a potential boyfriend.
-He seems like he'd be a very nice and funny guy.
-He has great taste in music.
-I need someone new to talk to because my friends kind of suck lately, and he'd be someone new to talk to.

Cons:
-He could think I'm some creepy stalker girl.
-He could end up being a total jerk
-He could reject, leading to awkward situations in classes we may have together (ex. him pointing out/thinking, "Hey! There's that creepy stalker girl who tried adding me on Facebook before she met me!")
-I'll probably end up meeting him at school anyway, but I'm not a very patient person.

Thoughts on this? If you were to receive a friend request (along with a message that said something along the lines of, "Hey, I was looking through people going to our school next year to see if I could find anyone else majoring in journalism and I found you. You seem pretty cool. Etc.") from a girl you'd never met, what would you think/how would you react?

Ok, well that's it for me tonight. Have a wonderful night, Internet.

You guys rock

Location: The couch
Listening to: The theme song from some 90's sitcom
Days til College: 49


You guys are the best. Have I mentioned that before? No matter what I'm going through, no matter how trivial the things that I rant about, you're always there with comfort and advice. Even when I think that I'm just being stupid, you never tell me that I am. It's really nice. Thanks. :)

There's not much going on today. I got a new layout on here. What do you guys think? I needed a bit of a change and they have a lot more options on design stuff now and I found a header that matched really well. I think I'll keep it like this for a while. It's a little bit more personalized than the old one. Note the whimsical star dotting the 'i' in 'Abbie' in the title. How cute.

I hung out with one of my old friends today. I've known her since kindergarten, but we usually don't see much of each other during school. So we catch up during the summer. It was nice. We went to a park and chatted for a while and then went to a few stores to do some college shopping. I got a shower tote, four plates, four bowls, and four cups for $7.50. I pride myself in my bargain shopping skillz.

I am feeling marginally better than I was yesterday. I'm not hating my friends quite as much. I guess that's life. Something pisses you off really badly and you rant about it and then it doesn't seem like it's such a big deal. Handy how that works.

Well, I work tomorrow morning, so I think I'm gonna call it a night.

Goodnight, internet. Sleep well.

This is me right now: #$&!)#(*@^

Location: The couch
Listening to: The Bounty Hunter
Days til College: 50

So, remember the other day when I ranted about my friends? And then the day after that when I decided I was just being melodramatic? Well, I'm back to thinking I need new friends. Seriously. I am getting so sick of this.

There was a bonfire the other night. My family and I took my dad out for his birthday, so we were out late, but I said I'd try to swing by the fire when we were done. I texted at 10:30 and asked if it was still going on, and the hostess said it was almost done. And then I found out the next day that people were there super late. Like, at least midnight, if not later.

And I continue to not get invited to things. And get plans cancelled on me. And ganged up on about stupid things. And made to feel like the stupidest person ever. And all kinds of other shit like that. And I'm so fed up. I thought these people were my friends. No, not just my friends. My best friends. But apparently I'm not that important to them. This summer is less than mediocre, which is sad, because it's my last real summer. After this who knows how much time I'll have to just hang around with people?

So I'm trying to make plans with people I haven't seen in a while and trying to rekindle old friendships. I don't want to put up with the shit from these people I've been hanging out with. It's just really frustrating. I want to yell at them and tell them how they're making me feel, but I'm completely non-confrontational. So I'm just phasing them out. Whatever. If they want to hang out with me, they can make the effort, because I'm tired of trying only to get shut out. I deserve better.

I'm kind of miserable. I feel like no one really cares about me. Which is stupid, because I know a lot of people do. Just not the ones who I thought did. Or who I wanted to. I mean, for the past year, I thought these people were my best friends. But now when I even try to talk to them, all I get are "Uh huh"s and "K"s and "That's not how I remember it...blahblahblah"s. It's like I just stopped mattering.

Ack. Ackackack. Ack.

I forgot

Location: The couch
Listening to: Reba
Days til College: 51


I forgot to explain the headline/title/whatever of my post yesterday! So, I was scanning through my school planner from junior year in an attempt to locate a photography website I knew I'd written in there. And I ended up finding two weird things.

1.) Someone had written metal lyrics on the first page of my planner. "Raging voices in my head, rise above the orchestra like a crescendo of gratitude." I have no clue who wrote them or when or why.

2.) Someone had written next to a map of the world, "Disasterbation - the death of a nation." Also no clue who or when or why.

It's a mystery. A very amusing one, but a mystery nonetheless.

Disasterbation - the death of a nation.

Location: The floor

Listening to: Family Guy

Days til College: 52

Hello, there. I can't really remember the last time I wrote. I know I spent a lot of time ranting about my friends. To be totally honest, I was being kind of melodramatic. My friends don't suck that bad. I mean, they might not always be the greatest people around and, yeah, I might put up with a lot of neglect I don't really deserve, but they're there for me most of the time.

This week had been full of all kinds of awesome developments for college. I found out that my scores on my AP exams were good enough that I test out of all of my required english classes (which means I don't have to take a basic english class ever again! I also never have to take math ever again, which is amazing). So I have more open credits now to fill with other classes.

I also got a job on campus. I started e-mailing people in the theater department and told them that I have work study and stuff, and they lined me up with a job doing office work for the theater and selling things at events. I'm really excited, because it sounds pretty easy and fun. Plus I'll get to see some of the shows for free.

And, I got offered a spot on the newspaper. During registration, I talked to some of the communications profs about writing for the paper as a practicum so I could get credit for it, and they said they'd give my name to the advisor. So he e-mailed me and told me he gave my name to the editor and managing editor and they'd be in touch with details about when they're going to start producing the first issue.

Mostly, I'm totally looking forward to college. Even more than before. Yay!

I've gone to see a lot of movies lately, so here are some reviews for ya:

Toy Story 3: These movies were my childhood. Honestly, the third installment was just as great as the first and even better than the second. (Almost) all of the old characters are back with all kinds of crazy hijinks because Andy is leaving for college. It made me laugh, it made me cry, and it made me incredibly nostalgic. A+

The Last Airbender: Ok, I've never seen the TV show that this movie was based on. Most of my friends who were fans of the show were disappointed in the movie. I loved it, though. It was a super cool concept with very straight-forward dialogue and fantastic special effects. I was never bored. A+

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse: Don't judge me! I went to see this with a bunch of people I work with because, working at movie store, we're all movie buffs. We were all intrigued about whether or not this apparent box-office hit was going to be any good. It's definitely the best Twilight movie so far. It had a lot of action and a lot of tongue-in-cheek moments where it seemed like the actors were making fun of themselves. Example: In one scene, Edward (the vampire boyfriend of Bella), Bella (the girl), and Jacob (the werewolf/shapeshifter guy who also loves Bella) were up on a mountain camping because it was crucial to the very thin plot. Bella, being a weak human, is freezing because there is a snowstorm going on. Edward is freaking out because, since he's undead, he can't do much to keep her warm. Jacob, who apparently is always burning hot because of that werewolf thing, offers to get in her sleeping bag with her to keep her warm. Edward starts freaking out until Jake looks straight at him and goes, "Edward, face it. We both know I'm hotter than you." Which is hilarious because many tweenage girls frequently gush over Taylor Lautner/Jacob's 'hotness'. Haha, whoever wrote the script for this movie. It's funny how you know your audience so well. B+

Despicable Me: Best. Movie. Ever. I had extremely high expectations for this one because I've loved every trailer I'd seen for it. The concept of Steve Carell as a super villain who keeps getting out-villained by another guy and has to look after three little girls looked amusing. It was hilarious. I would definitely go see it again. And again. And again. A+++

Happy Barbara Day!

Location: The Couch
Listening to: Um...I'm too ashamed to say....(but it may start with a HighScho and end up with OlMusical2...)
Days til College: 57


Little known fact: The patron saint of artillerymen, explosives, and lightning is Barbara. Considering today is Independence Day in the good old US of A which is often honored with 21 gun salutes by...you guessed it! artillerymen and the nice, explosive type of fireworks, and as it is also storming right now, my friends and I deemed the 4th of July "Barbara Day" instead.

This week has been kind of lonely. I just wrote out a whole summary of exactly what happened that made it that way, but it all seemed really stupid when I said it all. Mostly, I'm sick of having friends gang up on me and make me feel stupid and unimportant.

It's really weird, but I have to put up with this a lot. I'm ok with my friends giving me shit for stupid things that I do, because there's a lot of material to work with. And it can be funny. I'm only human, so I make mistakes. So what? But for some reason, a lot of people I hang around with like to take these little flaws and stupid things I do or say and turn it into a huge personality defect. They give me crap about it over and over and over and don't stop, and it makes me feel like I'm two inches tall. And when I say something about it or point out what they're doing, the most common response is, "Oh, quit whining."

Great friends, right?

The fact that I also seem not to exist to them anymore is also fantastic. Last night I literally spent 40 minutes in a tent with my two best friends and didn't have a single word spoken to me until I stood up to go use the bathroom.

Sorry for being so depressing. I'm just in a weird funk. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Everyone is all coupley and, even if they deny it, they're definitely making their significant other a major priority over everyone else. Which I get, because there's only two months left until we move off to college. But we're all moving. Not just them. I want to see everyone all the time, but they don't have the time to.

Aggghhhh. AngstAngstAngst! Haha. Ok. Rant over, I think.