Thursday, September 9, 2010

How To Befriend A Stranger

Location: Dorm desk
Listening to: Some kind of beautiful song by The Postal Service
Today's Odd Holiday(s): Teddy Bear Day

I am determined to make Hunky RA my friend. This is the reason I came to college. Not to learn things and gain knowledge and experience that will help me in the workforce. I am paying thousands of dollars a year in order to meet cute guys and either date them or turn them into my new best friends.*

The one problem is, I'm not really sure how to go about this. Probably because I have a huge and awkward crush on him. He's a really nice guy, and he's been nothing but sweet and friendly and helpful to me. I just want to be his friend.** His girlfriend, as far as I know, is justs as pleasant of a person as he is. She goes to college a couple of states away and, by some weird quirk of fate, is Facebook friends with one of my best friend's exboyfriends. So don't go making assumptions about her character. I don't want to break them up.

But, as I was saying, I have no clue how to go about this situation. I want to talk to him, but I don't want to seem like I'm hitting on him or coming on to him. I want to hang out with him, but I don't want to throw myself at him. I texted him once to try and figure out if this guy who there was a chance he might have known who has been trying to talk to me and stuff is a creep.

I don't know. We don't live in the same building, but he does live in my sister building where all of my friends are. But none of them live on his floor.

Aggghh. So complicated!! What do you guys think? How should I go about this? He told me I could text him if I was ever looking for something to do, so I could try that this weekend. See if anyone is doing anything (like a movie night or something). Or I could just bank on running into him again (it happens a lot) and trying not to choke on my own tongue if/when that happens. I don't think he checks Facebook that often, so that's out.

I know what I want to do. In an ideal situation, we would turn into workout buddies and start playing a game of truth.*** And through the course of the game we would get to know each other really well and eventually be best friends and maybe one day realize that we have deeper feelings for each other. Which sounds like of like the plot of a chick flick or book (maybe because it kind of is). But it would be really nice.

Anyway, give me your thoughts. Do I approach him and seek his company (in a just-as-friends way), or wait until he invites me to hang out with people again? Do I try and start a conversation with him first to get to know him, or just jump out and try to work into his social life? Do I directly ask him to hang out or challenge him to a game of Truth or just sit and bide my time until an obvious answer appears?

I would love your advice. And in the meantime, here is a picture of how my roommate and I are attempting to gain friends.

The illegible bit on the right side was someone else's comment. We have no clue what it says.

*Not really. I really do want to learn and I love my classes. But I have to admit, the presence of so many cute (and often shirtless) guys is pretty distracting.
**Ok, admittedly, I would love to date him, but I'm not a bitch/homewrecker. Usually.
***Truth is a game my friends and I like to play. It was partly a result of games of Truth or Dare in which no one picked Dare and partly because of the Sarah Dessen book The Truth About Forever, in which the game plays a significant role. It's pretty much Truth or Dare, but without dares. And you can ask anything, as long as you don't repeat questions. It's a great way to get to know someone, especially someone you're interested in. Especially because it seems totally innocent, which is good for hiding ulterior motives.


  1. i think you should wait until you run into him again and maybe a few days after that text him and see where it goes from there. If it goes well ask him to play your truth game :)

    just my opinion, good luck on befriending(seducing) your stranger :)

  2. My advice is to take it slow. If you worried about him thinking you are hitting on him or you're worried that you're going to act all flirty and weird (because, face it, don't we all act a bit flirty and weird around cute guys) then make it a group hang out at first. Maybe get a whole bunch of people together and go out to dinner, but sit near him so you have easy talking access and then later on you can do one on one hang outs.

    It'll all work out and I doubt even you tried you'd tear them apart. But if on the off chance they do break up, then you have a friendship already formed to try and make it something else!

  3. I took the sweet and spicy nuts, is that ok?