Sunday, May 23, 2010

An epiphany.

Location: Couch.
Listening to: 102 Dalmations?
Days til Graduation: 16!

I had an epiphany while I was in my car driving home from my grandparent's weekly Sunday Lunch today. I was sitting there kind of thinking about guys and relationships and all that kind of stuff when I realized two things:

1.) All of the guys I've dated recently kind of resemble Cary Elwes (more commonly known as Wesley from The Princess Bride).

2.) I have a habit of dating guys I know a little bit but not very well. Like, they'll be friends-of-a-friend, or I'll have talked to them a few times or I'll have had a class with them once or something. But I don't date guys I know very well, which could explain how I always end up with douchebags.

Because they're all charming and nice at first. And I only know the outer layer of their personality. But then as I date them and get to know them better, all their gross flaws come out and I'm like, "Huh, this was kind of a waste of my time." Which, I guess, is the point of dating. To find someone you're attracted to and get to know them better and hope for the best.

But my big problem is, half the time when I start dating these guys, I hadn't even considered them as options before they started paying attention to me. And then I go, "Wow, I like the fact that this guy likes me." and I decide that means I like the guy and then I end up dating him and he ends up being an asshole (usually).

So I am making a vow. I will not date a guy without spending at least a little time trying to get to know him beforehand. And I won't date a guy unless I'm sure I like him and not just the attention he's giving me.

Right now I'm kind of having that feeling like I'm missing someone, except I don't know who. Has anyone else ever felt like that? Where you just feel like there's someone out there and you're sad they're not with you, but you honestly have no idea who they are? It's really annoying. It's kind of an exaggerated form of loneliness. All my friends are kind of pairing off again. And it's making me miss having a boyfriend.

But at the same time, I don't want to date right now. I'm leaving for college in a few months and while I'm not gonna turn someone down if I find someone I really, really like before then, I'm going to meet so many new people there and I kind of want to keep my options open.

Blagh. What a quandary. I guess I don't have to worry about that unless I actually find someone before then. Oh man. Life is crazy. I kind of like it. :)

1 comment:

  1. You crack me up. You are such a teenage girl which is a good thing because you are of teen age and you are female. In case you ever thought you were weird or different, know that you are NOT. You are are awesome and smart and thinking the exact things you should be thinking. Wait until college to meet a guy. The last thing you need to do is waste your college weekends driving back home to watch him pump gas. You are going places and I for one am envious of what you will experience. Those were some of the best years of my life also.