White Chocolate

Location: Bottom of the Asiatic Sea (just kidding...computer desk.)
Listening to: Rabid fans cheering on Tyra
Days til Graduation: 60! (THAT'S ONLY TWO MONTHS!)
Followers: THREE!!!!

Oh man, I'm moving up in the world! Thanks, Jeff, for the follow. And I did mean Cheez-Its. Not Cheeze Nips. (I honestly don't know the difference because I never eat them and they all look the same to me, but apparently it makes a difference.) But I didn't blaspheme. Really.

Anyway, this episode of Abbie-Turned-Normal is about something incredibly obvious. Something so entirely expected that I named the post after it. That's right! You guessed it! Today I'll be talking about....

BOYS!!

Specifically, one boy. I swear, this will make more sense in about two sentences. Because obviously (since the three followers I have right now are male AND it's kind of an in-joke between me and Jess) White Chocolate probably does not make you think about potential love interest. So I shall explain:

Jess and I are incredibly obsessed with the movie Fanboys, and particularly Jay Baruchel in Fanboys. The movie is about this group of 20-something-guys (and their friend Zoey) who venture off to Skywalker Ranch so steal the first copy of Star Wars: Episode 1 before it is released to theaters. Pretty much it's the most hilarious movie ever (especially if you're a huge Star Wars geek) and it ends up being watched (and ultimately recited, because we've seen it that many time) nearly every time we hang out.

Jay Baruchel (whom we find incredibly witty and attractive in a geek-cute kind of way) plays this guy named Windows who is pretty much the biggest nerd in the history of Star Wars nerds. He's got an online girlfriend named RogueLeader (who described herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garofalo). And he describes himself as a white Billy Dee Williams (which he's totally not). And calls himself "White Chocolate".

Hence the code-name. Yeah, you read that right. Code name. You're probably thinking, "Dear Lord, this girl is crazy. A code name? Couldn't she just call him by someone else's name and possibly not sound quite so much like a psychopath in the process?"

The answer is: No. I'm pretty sure I couldn't sound like a psychopath if I tried, and also, code names make things much more entertaining. And distinguished. You will never mistake White Chocolate for Alex or Dillon or Steve or any of the other guys I mention in here. Also, in the event White Chocolate ever happens to read this, hopefully I won't be so excessively detailed that he knows it's him and spare my dignity (or, what scraps are left of it...I can feel them slipping away already) because he's nothing like Windows and stuff so . So. Um. Yeah.

Ok, so White Chocolate. He's this guy I've known pretty much forever. We shared lots of awkward hand holding during our middle school years and were best friends for a really long time (until he got an uber-possessive girlfriend and shunned his friends), but we're back to being friends again. And hopefully more. Because he's funny and he plays guitar and sings and he's smart and gorgeous and nice (insert hyperventilating here) and I could go on and on and on but I'm gonna cut off this gush-fest before I need to find someone to slap me to calm me down. Anyway, he's been perpetually dating someone since 8th grade, and he's finally single. So I'm just biding my time and hoping one of the (many other) girls who want him don't pounce before I can? (Which sounds ridiculously predatory. Oops. But, and I am not exaggerating, just about everyone wants him. He's that charming-and-unfairly-good-looking guy that most people love to hate, but he's not a dick, so no one hates him. Everyone just loves him. The girls all want him and the guys all want to be him. Well not "all". But the ones who know him.)

Maybe the third time's the charm? What are your thoughts? Agghhhh!!!